DWT

When you ask yours sumthin how do you ask? Is it wit a will you do this for me please er a do this for me? I cross em up a bit I think, I asked Sarah to git me sumthin earlier an after thinkin bout it, it sounds to me I gave an order more then anythin else, I said "git me such an such please", jes cause I said please, does it change the context? Is it still an order?

I try to always ask er for sumthin rather then bark away orders, I think I sorta do alright, havta ask er I guess, I know I tend to bark orders at Kat more then anyone else but I like to ask er to do sumthin an I think I normally do an launch into drill sgt when she doesn't do whatever, toys picked up etc

It depends on the tone you use. I'm and asker....my husband is a barker..I try to make him aware of it sometimes because I just get tired of it. Ya just got to pay attention to the tone. We women hear tone more than the words specifically so you best be carefull!

I don't ask hubby...I order him! Or else! :lena:


KIDDING!!!

I ask him nicely....honey, can you do this and that for me? Usually he'll do it. If he stands there ignoring me...then I bark! Same with the kids.

I'm like Lena....I usually start with a "Can you please..." or "Will you...."

BUT if I get ignored or no response, then I'm all about barking....or even better.... :lena:

Well I'm a lot like A2J...

Mist Get me *insert object here* please.... not meant to bark, but sometimes it seems mroe like an order... When we first got together I'd do most things myself.. but her being brought up the way she was (Baptist, serve your man blah blah blah...) I'm just getting lazier and lazier....

With the kids it's a little different. Because I'm used to hem not litening to me when I tell them to do their chores I end up barking at them.... I ask them once Nice / Semi Nicely... Tell them once semi nicely / not so nicely... Yell....

If it's just to run and get me another cup of water, or a tool or find their mother I tend to be nicer then chores, and telling them to clean up...

It entirely depends on the situation.

I am trying to get my kids to ask nicely rather than ordering people around. "Daddy get me some water!" just don't cut it in my house. So, I correct them, and I try really hard to teach by example.

There are times, however, that I don't have time to waste with pleasantries... (I'm under the sink with a leak and I need a different tool, "Nichole! Get me the toolbox!")

So, generally speaking, I try to keep my composure and ask nicely.

DWT

Yeah I agree, to lead by example, but at times, my nicenest I think can be construed as rudeness er an order. It wasn't intended to be an I use tone of voice alot to indicate how I mean it, but the other day I sent a msg, which is what got me to thinkin that it probly came cross as an order regardless if I used the please button er not

It's funny how we can lose our ability to be civil with our spouses - the people we love the most in the world and should be the kindest too! But it happens, we're human.

More often than not lately, I think we both say - get me the___. And then add "please Babe" and the end when realize how harsh it sounded. But I'm working on that.

A2J don't take this the wrong way but you type like a redneck.... (nothing bad about rednecks... I'm half myself my mom married into the family pole [just a little joke my dad is a redneck and he raised me to be a redneck too]) Something about us rednecks that even when we try to be pleasant something just don't turn out right, and we sound like we're being rude or uncivil.... Though to other rednecks we sound just fine...