"My husband bought me a mood ring the other day. When I'm in a good mood it turns green, when I'm in a bad mood it leaves a red mark on his forehead."
"If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart," said the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready."
"Good, what are we having for breakfast," said the new husband.
"Toast and juice," she replied.
My wife has trouble opening jars. Apparently, that involves a different set of muscles than slamming doors.
Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.
One day, Adam sat outside the Garden of Eden shortly after eating the apple, and wondered about men and women. So looking up to the heavens he says, "Excuse me God, can I ask you a few questions?"
God replied, "Go on Adam, but be quick. I have a world to create."
So Adam says," When you created Eve, why did You make her body so curvy and tender unlike mine?"
"I did that, Adam, so that you could love her."
"Oh, well then, why did You give her long, shiny, beautiful hair, and not me?"
"I did that Adam so that you could love her."
"Oh, well then, why did You make her so stupid? Certainly not so that I could love her?"
"Well Adam, No. I did that so that she could love you."