I have a problem. I didn't want to do it, but for some reason my oldest and I have bonded a lot better than my youngest. I find myself constantly siding with her and spending more time with her. I don't intend to do it, but it happens without my thinking.

For example, just now I needed to tell her that she won't be able to come to work with me today. After I talked to her on the phone, I terminated the conversation without speaking to my youngest. Hey - I was done with the conversation. My youngest, though, thinks that I didn't want to talk to her.

The other night, we were having a chemistry lesson. The youngest one (Pre-K) was learning about rules - and that was it. The oldest one (4th grade) was learning about what the rules actually meant and how atoms bond. The youngest one's lesson lasted about 15 minutes. The oldest's went on for over an hour.

We get along very well. My youngest and I don't always see eye-to-eye.

I don't want to have a favorite. I want both of my children to occupy the same amount of time, and space in my heart. I want both of them to be my equal children.

Have any of you had to overcome this?

No way around it you're gonna form bonds differently with the kids they're different people. On Lunch call and talk to the youngest explain that you were at work you had a message you had to deliver to the older and then get back to work.

Remind the youngest that you love her too as much as possible.

Schedule some time each week for something just you and her to do.

Give her an extra hour or two or so of your time a week.

Don't cheat the older one, but make sure the younger gets some too.

Plan a lesson that the older one won't be as interested in or already knows so that you can give her her bits let her go on her own and spend some extra time helping the younger with.

Explain that you don't mean to exclude her, apologize, and try to find more common ground.... may work may not work but as long as you put forth the effort and trying things should be better.....

That's why you should only have one :P (That's for Deb :D )


I tend to favor the kiddo's at different times and it all depends on where we are in life. ATM I'm with my youngest a lot more (oldest is at school) so we've become quite the buddies. My DH tends to be closer with my OS as the moment so it works out :) We usually flip flop and it just depends on what's going on around us :)

If you know you're doing it maybe make more of an effort to do something special with youngest daughter. Could you do a science experiment just with her? Take her out for a bike ride?

DH and I try to take the kiddo's and do stuff with them alone. Walks around our neighborhood (lots to see) or bike rides are popular atm :D

I agree with Keneke.. my husband takes the kids out on "Daddy Dates" individually so they will get undivided attention from him. Also when he goes to the store he will choose one child to go with him and help him shop (he does most of the grocery shopping) and they love going with him. Just make an effort to do something with your yungest away from big sis...

:thanks:

Yep, not a problem here........but I agree that you might actually have to schedule "daddy time" with your youngest, a standing weekend date to just hang out, the two of you.

That way even if you happen to spend more time with oldest during the week, youngest knows she's got her very own block of quality time with you coming up, that you put aside just for you and her.

I don't have this problem. I treat ALL my kids equally. B)



Ok, ok....I have problems with Isaiah mostly. Even though he's such a daddy's boy, it's harder for me to bond with him. He goes to Abe so much easier even though I'm with him all day. Abe gets all the attention from him. Now, he and I have bonded ALOT closer since just before we started homeschooling and we had alot of months with just us at home while the other 2 were in public school. So although it's been an improvement, we're still working on it. And to be totally honest, this kid LOVES being alone. So it makes it easier to actually neglect. BAD MOMMY....I know....:doh:

Luke even said one day that I spend more time with Candace than I do with him. Maybe because Candace is a girly girl and I can identify with girly stuff! :D So I do try to spend more time with Luke so he's not feeling left out. Luke also goes out more with Abe on trips to town than the other 2, so...