So what made you decide to stop having kids? Did you stop because of practical reasons or because you just felt your family was "complete"?

I really think Louis and I are strongly leaning towards #3 being our last. The only slight reservation I have is that for me anyways I'm basing the decision on all practical reasons. I don't necessarily feel like we're "done" like some people describe but I just can't see it being wise to have any more. So how did you decide when you were "done"?

And no, using some form of BC until we "feel" complete is not an option - that would be just asking for a #4 when it comes to our fertility!

For us (or rather mostly for hubby) it was when we were discussing autism with our psychiatrist and how it can or could be "caused", the word "genetics" came up. I tell ya, after that visit, hubby nearly flipped that day and decided shortly after that he didn't want to deal with another autistic child. Of course, we were going through TEN times worse things then than we are now...he was a preschooler at the time (Isaiah, that is. :P)

Besides that and feeling overwhelmed with our already 3 kids. We both felt our little family circle was complete. I can't even imagine having another one now. I wouldn't mind it, but it would feel....I dunno, odd....:lol:

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I actually was considering stopping at 2...for practical reasons. Wifey wanted more...

So through several weeks of (non) discussion...it happened.

We had our third and and I got a little spooked about all this "practicality" and got my gonads snipped....of course with wifey's ok.

Now in hind-site...I've learned that the "practicality" factor between 3 and 4 isn't as big as 1 and 2 kiddies so now I really wished...(my youngest is 2.5 and we are w/o real baby) that we could have gone for 4...

Same with wifey...but there is NO WAY I'm puttin' my beans back on the plate.


I say go for four....that is, if Louise is "man" enough.

Umm havent' stopped yet.. I'll have an army to take over the world if Misty will let me......

It takes a real man to rasie his children, any male can produce young... sperm donors...

We stopped after number 2 b/c we wanted our lives back...LOL. It was easier keeping our prekids life when we had just one (we still travelled, ate out etc) but it was a lot more difficult with 2. We like being active, going places, being involved with church and organizations around us and I think that the more children we would have had it would have been impossible.
Neither of us are 'fixed' and if we have another, so be it but CURRENTLY it's not something we're desiring.

What K said....... :agree: :D

I was just trying to think of a nice way to say it, but I like the "wanted our lives back" thing, too!

We don't want another one, but neither one has been "fixed" yet, either.........

I kinda understand the life back thing too, but on the other hand, if God breathes life into your womb, that child had joined your life now. He is part of your life. From where I stand, we aren't trying to have kids, but we are watching cycles etc, because at this point I don't know if the marriage can handle the stress of another child. But I haven't completely cut off that possibility. For religious reasons, accepting the fertility that God has given us and submitting (oooooh I said the 'S' word!) our wills to that of God by not enforcing our wants in regards to fewer children or "getting our life back" is really beneficial for our salvation. Let's face it, "getting our lives back" or more time for me/us to travel and do stuff is a selfish reason to eliminate and control God given fertility. It all comes down to what I want. Me, us, we, and I aren't words to describe selflessness and generosity. I'm not pointing fingers because I totally get it and feel the same way, so please do not take offense. If anything I am probably more selfish than any of you because I never even wanted the children I have...Forgive me if I have offended.

As for stopping having children, we don't use preventative measures, but do watch my fertility and behave accordingly, still allowing for the possibility that God may so choose to give us another. I don't want another pregnancy, and if my will be done then there would be no more pregnancies, but this is where I give up my will and let God's will happen in my life. (Even if I don't like it.)

I'll be honest here and don't get the "get my life back" thing. What does that mean? To me, my kids are my life. What the heck would I DO without them? Probably go insane. I'm not meaning to offend at all. I do often hear of married couples always going out on trips and doing stuff, just the 2 of them. Hubby and me didn't get to do that much. So if I didn't have kids, what would I do? I have no clue.

+1

Call me selfish. :rollseyes: It doesn't bother me AND it doesn't bother me that DH and I leave/have left the children to get away for the weekend. OUR marriage needs it and OUR children also need a break from us. We find that OUR family functions MUCH better when we do that. Same thing with nights out. It works for OUR family. We don't do EVERYTHING with our kids NOR would we want to.
Financially also we wouldn't be able to handle another child. The formula, diapers, etc would be hard.
I'm not someone who believes in having 10 children. It's not for me.

Dh and I did that OFTEN prior to children. We now incorporate our children into our activities. DH will take OS golfing or have the children ride their bike while he runs etc. We're finally getting back into the swing of how things used to be. Now that the kiddo's are older it's easier but when they need you for EVERYTHING...it's hard...on me :P :pepsi:

Eh, I figure that if God wants us to have another child, a condom isn't going to get in His way!

My life was different before Andrea, and it's different now than when she was a baby, and it'll be different when she's a teenager.

I like my life now better than when she was a baby........... :dunno:

Wha?

Condoms........ :haha: That's how Candace was conceived. B) Piece of latex didn't stop strong sperm! :D

Yeah, life is getting easier with the kids getting older. At least they can communicate with me and no more baby babble. :lol: We have always done everything together. We have a routine that we've developed over the years and it's stuck. I guess that's because since Isaiah was diagnosed we were always told how important routine is....so hey...we've got one heckuva routine going on! :D

I think that's Squat's idea of a rep point........

Yeah, that's what I meant about the condom.......if God really wants us to have another baby, that ain't gonna stop him! B)

That really doesn't sound like a strong argument for the gift of Free Will that we have been given. We have the free will to accept the fertility God has given us and the potential that a child could be conceived and we also have the free will to use barriers and drugs to prevent the conception of a child. God will not ususally usurp your free will and force His own on you. Sometimes condoms fail and the pills fail and whatever else fails. That doesn't mean that God overpowered the condom or the pill and used His Might to give you a kid that you didn't want. It only shows that man cannot make an indestructable condom, that the chemicals in the pill don't always work with every person, it shows that man has not yet harnassed the power over nature. That children are conceived through the failure of contraceptives is not proof that God is exerting His will over man's free will, it only shows that man fails and God's design for the human body works.

Of course. No one said that breaks weren't good.

You never think that you can, but we so often forget that if God gives us the responsibility of having another child, don't you think He will make sure that child can be provided for?

I agree. Those people must be insane!

I don't think people who have 10 babies is insane. Several of my relatives have 10 kids and they do GREAT!

Maybe its me, then. I just cant imagine myself with that many kids. I think I'd be insane!

Goes back to your comment:

If God gave you 10 kids, he'd make a way for you to stay sane :P

honestly? No.

There are MANY ppl I know with too many kids and who supports them? Welfare.

:agree:

Also........I know that God provides, etc etc etc.

But I also think God gave me common sense to know when I/we would be over-extending ourselves.

:agree:

Well, MY family members that have big families are self employed AND homeschool. There is no welfare. So yes, God does provide for them.

Take that! :cheeky:

I'm not saying all families should have 1 or 2 kids. I know a few familiies who have 10+ and live off welfare. There's one fam I know that are on their 18th child in a 2bdrm apt... :blink:

I don't EVER wanna stop but it looks like Justin will probably be our only one. :unsure:

What about when you're 57? :P

LOL When I'm fifty seven, Justin will still be living at home with me...and I'll be taking care of him (since he isn't allowed to date til I'm dead! :bounce: )

:happy: