My husband and I have been "discussing" :rollseyes: the difference between the love you would have for a brother or stranger on the street and the love you would have for a spouse.

Withouth going into he sys-shes says...we disagree.

How would you explain the difference or lack therof?

There's a world of difference. I'll have to think on how to explain it though.

Since you asked . . .

God is love. He is the source of all true love (a.k.a. agape), which we can share with others. If we strip away emotional bonds, infatuation, sexual chemistry, co-dependency, etc., what we're left with is pure unconditional true love. It's this love that's described in 1 Corinthians 13. It's this unselfish love that we can share with brothers, spouses, children, and basically anyone except maybe Squat. :D

The difference between the love between a husband and wife and a stranger on the street, is the way it's expressed. We don't express this love in the same way to everyone, but it is still the core of all these expressions. The love's the same, but the expression of it can be marital, friendly, familial, etc. Unilluminated society, or those outside of Christ, almost always seems to get this mixed up. With true love they often mix in erotic love and other emotion ties into their understanding of it.

Agape is as deep as it gets. To this in marriage, we often have strong emotions involved, sexual attraction, some degree of co-dependancy, etc. I'm not saying we "feel" the same way towards everyone, just that the love's the same. Those other things may come and go, but if we truly love someone we won't leave when the going gets tough, when they put on 200 pounds due to a thyroid condition, lose the use of the lower half of their body in a hunting accident, or whatever. If we don't work towards this unselfish true love, then our marriages and relationships aren't safeguarded against the enemy.

Ancient Greek has three distinct words for love: eros, philia, and agape.

"Eros" is passionate love, with sensual desire and longing.

"Philia" means friendship in modern Greek, a dispassionate virtuous love, was a concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity. In ancient texts, philia denoted a general type of love, used for love between family, between friends, a desire or enjoyment of an activity, as well as between lovers. This is the only other word for "love" used in the ancient text of the New Testament besides agape, but even then it is used substantially less frequently.

"Agape" means "love" in modern day Greek. The term s'agapo means "I love you" in Greek. The word "agapo" is the verb "I love". In Ancient Greek it often refers to a general affection rather than the attraction suggested by "eros"; agape is used in ancient texts to denote feelings for a good meal, one's children, and the feelings for a spouse. It can be described as the feeling of being content or holding one in high regard. The verb appears in the New Testament describing, amongst other things, the relationship between Jesus and the beloved disciple. In biblical literature, its meaning and usage is illustrated by self-sacrificing, giving love to all--both friend and enemy. It is used in Matthew 22:39, "Love your neighbour as yourself," and in John 15:12, "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you," and in 1 John 4:8, "God is love." However, the word "agape" is not always used in the New Testament in a positive sense. II Timothy 4:10 uses the word in a negative sense. The Apostle Paul writes,"For Demas hath forsaken me, having loved (agapo) this present world...." Thus the word "agape" is not always used of a divine love or the love of God. Christian commentators have expanded the original Greek definition to encompass a total commitment or self-sacrificial love for the thing loved. Because of its frequency of use in the New Testament, Christian writers have developed a significant amount of theology based solely on the interpretation of this word.

Source: Wikipedia.


Therefore I would think that we eros our spouse, agape our children and other family members, and philia anyone else. English just uses one word and that is what causes the translational problems.

I've heard it said that the ancient texts quote this passage this way, thus giving us a better understanding of why Jeus asks three times.

No there is a universal kinda love that you should have for everone but there are other loves to be trwon in on top of it like a sundae....