Plumber:"We repair what your husband fixed."
On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania:"Don't sleep
with a drip, call your plumber."
Pizza shop slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one weak."
At a tire shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
Door of a plastic surgeons office:"Hello, can we pick your nose?"
At a Laundry Shop:"How about we refund your money, send you a new one at
no charge,close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be
satisfactory?"
At a Towing Company:"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
On an electricians truck:"Let us remove your shorts."
In a Nonsmoking Area:"If we see smoking we will assume you are on fire and
take appropriate action."
On Maternity Room Door"Push, Push, Push."
At an Optometrists Office:"If you don't see what you're looking for,you've
come to the right place."
On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."
In a Podiatrist's office:"Time wounds all heels."
At a Car Dealership:"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car
payment."
Outside a Muffler Shop:"No appointment necessary, we hear you coming."
On a desk in a reception room:"We shoot every third salesman, and the
second one just left."
In a Veterinarians waiting room:"Be back in 5 minutes, Sit! Stay!"
In a Restaurant window:"Don't stand there and be hungry, come on in and
get fed up."
In the front yard of a funeral home:"Drive carefully, we'll wait."