There has been a some controversy regarding the enforcement of the posting rules on the men’s and women’s forums. After discussing this, it is clear that the decision to enforce this rule was made very quickly and without time for full discussion which has caused some discontent. We apologise for this and have been taking note of your posts.

We have heard that there is no point in having a rule that we do not enforce and also the fact that most people are happy with being able to post in both gender forums. Based on that we recommend the following.

We will remove the rule which bars people from posting in the opposite gender's forum. This retains the freedom you currently enjoy. In addition, a poster may choose to put the subtitle "men only" or "women only", indicating the thread is only for posting by the appropriate gender, which allows more privacy for threads that may be more sensitive. Any posts in these thread by the opposite gender will be removed.

We hope this is something that both retains freedom and provides privacy when desired. We will not implement this immediately but will leave this thread open for a few days to allow you to put forward your final thoughts and suggestions.

Remember, you are always welcome to pm a mod if you prefer. All pms will be shared with the moderating team.


Thanks everyone,

From the mod team.

:nono: No good.............

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


:) Just kidding!

So, what does everyone else think? Good, bad, or indifferent, bring it on!! :nod:

I like the men/women only idea...:thumbsup:

Ok, so I know the announcement is posted and all and it looks alright.

However, it is confusing. At least that how it would look if I were a stranger or a noobie. There's a Ladies and Men's forum, but we're supposed to put "women only" or "men only" to start a topic? To me, from a stranger's point of view....that does seem odd. Know what I'm saying? I just want there to be less confusion and whatnot if we should get new members. It shouldn't be confusing.


Just my opinion.



To US, it's ok. I'm just looking at it from a different angle.


Sorry to cause more fuss here......:bolt: :P

You asked what I think and here it is:

I don't like the 'men/women only' tags. The rule has been in place for a while and ppl should learn to follow it.

It doesn't effect me much since I obey the rules :thanks:... I still won't post in the men's forum. I don't even read in there

It is nice to have gender specific areas for questions/comments or just to poke fun of the opposite sex :P :rollseyes:

That's a valid point Keneke and that's why we want to hear from everyone.

There are lots of open areas so if we are going to have seperate forums why not keep it seperate. The tags in some ways just mean a double up.

Otherwise, why have seperate forums, why not just have the tags in the main forum.

We really need to to nut this out and also think about flow on effects, particularly if we get bigger.

Keep talking

That's why I like the suggestion of renaming the subforums to something like Women's Topics and Men's Topics. The way these subforums became to function for me were basically if you click on a thread in the Men's Forum if you're a gal don't complain if it's about poop and if you're a guy and you click on a thread in the Women's Forum don't complain if it's about female plumbing.

But it's nice to have the 'only female' advice w/o a male piping in with some comment... etc.

I like that idea, Sarah.

People will be fairly warned about the potential subjec matter, and if a guy or gal wants men or women ONLY to respond, then they can put the tags on.

Right, sometimes it is, and that's the purpose of the women only tag. If you don't want the guys to put their 2 cents in then tag it. If it's a "girly" topic and you don't care if the guys chime in or not then leave it untagged.

Like, if I start a thread about "How many purses do you have?" or "What's the best way to clean your toilet?"........I'll put it in the Ladie's forum but I also don't care if one of the guys answers it. Well, I'd wonder a bit if they confessed to having a number of purses, but you get my drift!! B)

If we change up the wording a bit, I can post it in there but a guy who has an opinion or wants to throw in his wife's POV or something can do it with out breaking the rules.

If I want to post a question about CRAMPS or BLOATING or TAMPONS B), then I'll put a [WOMEN] tag on it. That keeps the guys out. Or at least keep them from posting in that particular thread.

Whatever we all decide, the rule will be steadfast and apply to everyone. Any posts where you're not allowed will be deleted. No worries!! :guns:

Here's something to think about:

IF we decide to update/change it around a bit to say "Womens Topics" and "Mens Topics"........

Will women be allowed to start threads in the men's forum, and vice versa?

My feeling? If they are truly going to be open to each gender posting there, then it should be allowed. I may want a guys opinion on a "guy thing" (whatever THAT may be), or a guy might want a woman's viewpoint on female plumbing, pregnancy symptoms, etc.

That's why I think it should be okay. And of course, the person who starts the thread still has the option of tagging it [WOMEN] or [MEN].

Discuss.............. :thanks:

I like Sarah's idea...And about some male putting his 2 cents in...usually its just squat and it doesn't matter anyway.. :whistle: ..You know, like water off a duck's back..

Hey guys,

Are we gonna hear from you too?

Why not leave the rules as they are & if we don't mind the guys piping in or if they don't mind us piping in they can add the [open] tag? :dunno:

:agree:

I like to at least have the illusion of privacy if I'm posting in the Ladies subforum.

I personally have no problem with just the guys posting in the woman and the women in the men most of the guys are pretty cool here and its nice to get there opinions.Any thing that keeps the peace i'm all for it.

Here's a suggestion: leave them as they were, and add subforums called "Ask a Male" and "Ask a Female." I've seen this on other boards. Basically I guy can post in "Ask a Female" and only get responses from women and vice versa.

If you want to post something that can be answered by either gender, just post it in "Hang Out."

Ok, I'm tired, grouchy an jes in a rather put out disposition at the moment. I've been pullin 8 an 900 mile days an I'm jes not a happy camper right now. But as I was told by Sarah this mornin, if I am goin to say anythin then I need to. So... losin my most valuable sleep an rest period I'll respond... (agin)....

As the dually elected representitive of the men on this board... er more to the point the only one who seems to give a rats rump bout this er even bothered to sorta follow it. Not sure where Sqaut got off to, I haven't seen em round, I figure someone here has hacked em off for some reason er nother. I don't have his ear so I jes donno what's goin on.

Now the other day I covered most of this in another thread... leave it to a woman (golfinmom) to tank it into er bias bout trucks... le's see where the heck she is the next time she reaches for paper to wipe er backside witout a truck havin delivered it in the first place.

I would like these questions answered before ya'll close er rule on this.

For starters, what prompted this? Is it only because it's always been a rule an NOW someone wants to enforce it? Er has sumthin happened that's brought this on? Why is it a problem now?

Secondly, an this is a really big one for me. I've asked round a bit but no ones ever managed to give a decent answer to this. Has there EVER been a time where a guy has come into a serious womans thread an screwed it up? offended some womanly thin? We are all adults here, I have not seen where somebody walks into a thread who has no buisness in it an fiddle farts sumthin up. Unless I've missed sumthin I haven't seen anythin.

Next we've got... is it the position of FHL to segragate this site into a man/woman ordeal? This really concerns me because it's jes not who I thought we were. For example, I disagree wit String an er husbands theology, I cain't stand Golfinmom's ideas bout CA er trucks, I severally disagree wit sf49erfan's political stances, er AmyRoo's prudish stuff ... least when er meez is not doin a strip tease on my puter..... an PLEASE don't git me started on Lena.... :) The point bein that jes because I disagree wit all of that does not mean I want to limit my fellowship wit other Christians, an in the end so far as I know we are all one body in Christ. Now some of you might think I'm takin thins to literally er makin em bigger then they are er this stuff is jes to deep an you know you might be right but what would be next? Should we start havin political forums? What is that.. oh congregatiuonal forums? Are we goin to start segragtin oursef's even more?

Now if it's handed down that the rule will be enforced I will comply wit it, I jes really don't see the need in it. I do not like the idea bout tags honestly, if we're goin to segrgate then fine le's do it, there's no need to fiddle wit tags, if women want mens opinions then they can post it in the hangout an to heck wit everthin else. So I don't think usin tags is goin to help, I think it'll jes create more work for members an those who frequent (like I do) the newest threads er whatever page for gittin in trouble an more forr the staff to havta undo the stuff.

I can take a hint, much like the rest of the guys here, it's not a matter of obeyin er followin the rules that are already in place, this has to do wit sepratin oursef's out an that's ok I guess, I hear the gals, sayin thins like they want to keep private conversations private etc, nuthin stops any of us from lurkin anyways so that jes doesn't make a hill of beans to me. Jes like how I cuaght String the other day, it's goin to happen, the only way to prevent any of that is to enable some restrictions that are not user controlable. I don't know anythin bout this particualr board so I donno if it's even possible but other then that I don't see how any of this is really goin to help.....

At any rate, my race is on in the back ground I'm tired an goin to go to bed, if sumthin don't make sense jes ask, I'll be able to clarify it up tomarra night, haven't had great service an I've been dealin wit way to many idiots lately to drive an type....

:hmm:

Louis, I'll respond to your questions with my thoughts and opinions.

Exactly 'why' it started I really don't know. All I know is that it was started and was done quickly. The announcement carries an apology for that and Lena also made a personal apology. It could have been left there, but the reason it is continuing is that when it was raised it did bring attention to the fact that the rules were in place and weren't being followed (by male and female alike). It became obvious this was a concern for a few people so it was decided it was best to open it up and hear what everyone thought. Do we keep the rule and follow it or get rid of the rule because there is really not much point having a rule that is not followed. So that is where we are now.

As for whether anyone has ever posted in the opposite gender forum on a sensitive issue, well again I don't know because there are too many threads to go through, my guess is probably not, but again that is not really the issue at hand. We are really now only discussing whether we actually want this rule or not.

And speaking from my own heart as I can't speak for anyone else's motivation, it is not about man vs women or segregation as such. Men and women's forums are for discussing stuff that is gender related and sometimes we have very gender specific issues. To be honest I would not be comfortable posting about 'plumbing' issues tampons etc on the open forum. At least in the women's forum there is some element of expectation that these topics can be discussed.

I think from here we just need to sort out what the majority are comfortable with and make a decision and amend the rules according to how we want to operate.

So that's where we're at.

I hope that made sense. It's after midnight here and I'm very tired and need some sleep....night all

Edited by Sarah to make font bigger so Louis can read it.

Ok fine, then I vote for full enforcement of the rule, includin warn level increase until bans are issued for violation of this rule. Since this is not the first time that this issue has come up an most of us was round for the first issue then there should be no excuse for not followin this rule as prescribed in the FAQ.

One thin to note, your claims of postin in a 'closed' forum, for lack of a better word jes doesn't hold water. Nuthin, aside from staff fourms (if they have any I don't actually know) is closed, it's all open, everthin is, I can read bout female plumbin problems if I wanted to, like wise you could read bout Sqauts dumps in the mens forum. The only difference is, I don't know a man here who would ever dare to post in a womens plumbin problem thread. An if they did an said sumthin stupid like "eeww that's gross" what would the womens response be? "If it's so gross why the hell are you even in here!?!"

This is what I do not understand, none of us are children who cain't mind their P's an Q's. But I won't fight it. If that's what folks want then it's fine by me, I rarely post in the womens area anyways. But the enforcement of the rule should include warn level increases until bans are issued in my opinion.

Thanks Louis and thanks for editing my post Sarah. When I first saw the big print I thought "Oh no. Louis might think I was yelling at him" and then I saw your *edit comment... :doh: Sorry I'm a bit slow off the mark sometimes.

A2J I agree that we will always get lurkers and that's the bane of the net but at least if some guy comes into a plumbing thread and reads what I've written there he has had to make a deliberate choice to do it and that's his own stupid fault :screwy:
I think the forums were created in the first place 'cos we do have gender specific stuff we talk about and in a way I think a good analogy would be that I wouldn't discuss some personal stuff at the kitchen table but would rather keep it for the lounge and if I was chatting about something personal or feminine in the lounge and a guy walked in I would either warn him and let him stay if he wants, or if it were very personal I'd ask him to give us our privacy. In which case, I'm sure he would. If he secretly listens behind the wall, I can't do much about that and that is his disrespect to deal with.

I see the Hang Out as the kitchen table. Everyone is there and it's loud and busy. I see the women's/mens forum as the lounge or garage where you take yourself to discuss some more sensitive or even fun issues that aren't everyone's cup of tea (preference). Sometimes others are welcome in those areas and sometimes it's best if they aren't there.

Having the forum open is like having the lounge for quiet conversation but having the door open for people to join in if they want to and the women's/men's only tag is a way of saying "can we have some privacy for a moment?" And although that may not have been trodden on before, it gives a way of asking for that formally.

I think we are on the same page here anyway. And thanks for taking the time to post when you are busy and having trouble with net connections and stuff.

Well.. as eliquently as my wife could put it, she says that my last post here sounded like "a lil boy stompin his foot" Isn't she jes grand?? Donno what kind of a life I would have if it weren't for this quarrelsome woman....

Le'me make thins clear here, my position on this is do NOT do it half ass. Hear me in this, if people start tryin to please everone they will eventually only piss everone off. I do not agree wit these tags idea, it means more work for users, more work for staff, more potential problems, an then if staff doesn't keep up wit it an it all falls by the way side, then lo an behold in another year er so we'll agin have a major shake up. So it comes down to two thins for me, either enforce the rule as it is written, er do not an git rid of it. The majority of the women folks seem hell bent on seperatin it out an followin the rule an I say go for it, we can all sit here fussin back an forth over it til hell freezes over an it won't change anythin in my mind. It's still either, enforce the rule as it is written er do not.

I cain't git over the silliness of this though, to my knoledge not one time has a guy on this forum run into a womens thread jes to stir up trouble. I do know String to be guilty of this once in the past (not a bad thin er the like jes usin as an example) it was a discussion between Clay an I over boogers. I know.. hardly breakin news but anyways, so I haven't seen the point in any of this an I jes no longer need to. Either enforce the rule er do not, tags in my opinion is to much like tryin to make everbody happy an you jes can NOT make everbody happy, that's jes simple fact.

Infact.. here's a good example of a potential problem. String starts a thread, but she furgot to put the tags in it, so then she quickly pm's someone to change it for er, but no ones online. So Sqaut, Raspy, Eric, CJ an me all decide to have a pow wow in the thread, String throws a fit an 15 posts later we're all sittin there sayin.. but but there was no tag!?!? Jes means a mountain of work for staff, a pissed off String an a bunch of guys lookin at each other like you should have known better er sumthin. No it's jes troubel waitin to happen in my opinion.

My beef, and it's not really much of one, is that there is a rule and people should follow it. That's just how I am, I'm a rule follower. It's not so much that I minded the men posting. If you want to do away with the rules, that's fine by me, but if you're going to keep it, it should be enforced.

Post made big just for A2J.

Aww I feel so special :) But, I only need big font when I'm drivin LOL

This isn't sumthin new is the problem, the rule has always exsited an this was discussed a year er sumthin back an it was sorta dropped by the way side, so like I said before, if folks aren't er cain't do sumthin to invoke restrictions so it's automatic an they jes cain't post then it's always goin to be a problem. So either enforce er git rid of, I'm leanin towards enforcin because I really don't want sumthin silly like this to come up agin in another year er sumthin an create another division.

:belly:

Well.. that was a REAL suprise.......................

This jes in from my darlin wife :( sorry guys....

Louis says:
sorry your idea isn't gittin much support
Sarah says:
I'm gonna trow a hissy fit if I don't get my way

Don't you just love selective editing LOL

I didn't edit nuthin! I copied an pasted from my msn....

Yes, you did...missing some words out along the way LOL