WARNIN WARNIN WARNIN!!!! as a man, if your woman utters these words to you.... RUN FOR YOUR MOTHER FRACKIN LIFE!!!!!

I kid you not... they mean nuthin but your destruction!!

So here's the story, sittin round the ketchen table, I says:

"I need to go finish up on my truck, so I'm goin to go do that"

Sarah: "Oh, be a dear an do me a favor."

Me: "What?"

Sarah: "I checked the propane tank an seen it said it had 13% but then I smelled the gas earlier today an it smelled like the tank was lower."

Me: "Jes call em an have em stick some more in"

Sarah: "It costs bla bla bla"

Me: "Ok, I'll check it when I go out."

Made a bit of the wounded soldier thin as I had to trump through all the weeds an the like gittin towards dark, where all manner of 8 legged critter could be about. But nonetheless, I go outside, first open the hood on my truck an thought ' oh I better check that er else I'll furgit, I leave the hood of my truck open an walk out to the tank. Bein that there may be a 8 legged critter in there, I kick open the door/cover of the tank.

The very next thin I saw was a million lil black dots ALL flyin up into the air wit that oh so familar buzzzzzz sound. I slapped it in B for boggey an split, only, made it bout 3 feet an face planted into the dirt spirallin into a cloud of dust, my right eye pounded by my glasses an dirt up my nose, sumthin was wrong wit my hand I could tell but had no time to check, up on my feet agin I fly to tackel a 4 foot rag weed bush head first an sprialed to the ground agin.... mmmm btw did I mention I am HIGHLY allergic to ragweed? Scampered to my feet in a half run crawl an run as fast as I could to the house, to which I promptly flung open the door, kicked the kiddie gate all the way cross the ketchen an muttered a nasty word to my .. oh so darlin wife.....

In the end, I had to shower agin, I have ripped up my finger on sumthin, bled for like ever... aches pains, allergic reaction, a handful of drugs, an .... not ONE single bee sting.... I thought that was rather ironic... I figured the bee's all fell out of the sky in laughter of me tryin to espace while destroyin mysef. An I had JES stuck em coveralls on to! How annoyin!

So .... from the conversation above... would anyone else have thought that she REALLY MEANT that she had checked the tank a week ago?? I assumed by the way she said it, she had checked it earlier that day an wanted me to double check it... none of this crap.. oh I checked it a flippin week ago! I would never have been concerned bout any bees bein there had she already checked it earlier that day............. My suspisions are bein confirmed...... she is actively tryin to kill me! AND she's gittin cleaver bout it to! She couldn't do it wit a heart attack... so now she's onto accidents

"911 what is your emeergency?"

"Oh my husband is DEAD! oh boo whoo boo whoo, he got stung (accednetly) to death by bees! Oh boo hoo... an now he's gone boohoo boo....."

"Are you sure he's dead?"

"Erm.... jes a minute"

BOOM!!

"Yes I'm sure!"

btw... in case no one actually did know this.. we have these thins called 'killer bees' runnin round here... they really aren't very good bee's ya see... they tend to kill people... hence.. the whole.. 'killer' in killerbees?

I have been ACTIVELY tryin to trust Sarah, take er at er word, especially after the recent troubles we've had.. now all I can think bout is how many ways I could clean up the blood before the police git here........................

:rolf:

I know you aren't laughing but it was funny to read.

SUrprised you didn't get stung...

I suggest moving out of TX :D

You know I have great fun imagining your conversations in my head. You talking like you write and Sarah sounds like the Queen in my head. It must be a hoot to listen to the 2 of you in real life.

Oh, yeah, bummer about the bees. I've never been stung before.

:happy:

I would have just loaded my shorts and passed out.....

Stingy insects just barely lesser than Spidey's in my book

:lol:

.
.
insects are "baby poo"....

The only REAL fear in the world is snakes.

Chicken. Snakes are fascinating... :tease:

.
.
Snakes are EEEEVVVVILLLLL......


Didn't you read Genesis?

Snakes? Aww....here's a pic for ya....pucker up and be nice to the snakies!!

We'll see how you feel after being stung by so many wasps that your entire right side and back are swollen to 3x their natural size (and for me that is FRICKING HUGE) and your so sick that you can't see straight for a month. I honeslty should have gone to the hospital but I was 10, Mom asked if I wanted to go and I said I was fine... but I was anyhting but fine....

.
.
HEY! I've been stung by a wasp before...


No biggie....



but snakes....yuck...those evil, beady eyes prowling for flesh to sink their fangs into....

Here ya' go, bro! :gotcha:

A wasp.....

Try 10 repeatedly........

There's snakes in those pictures? I didn't see them... :drool:

22 bumblebee stings. I swolled up like a basketball for a couple o' days. Poppin' so much prescription Benadryl that I slept through it all. And I got fired from my job for missing two days. :ticked:

wow........that stinks......... :bored: