Hello,

I have to admit I do "it" :( I know, pretty disgusting. Anyways, I was doing really well for about a week with not doing it and then last night I just went wild... had dreams about doing it and everything... :( Anyways, what are ideas that you guys have used to stop doing it?

servant4ever

Well personally I think any guys who says they've never done it is a flipping liar, and a uber bad one at that..


I don't know bro... this is the first thread on this topic on here....


How old are you ? and your single right???


There are two christian schools of thought
a) masterbation in itself is not wrong
B) masterbation is wrong


I honestly don't know which school of thought is right. www.themarriagebed.com seems to be a great christian sex website and they think it's not wrong, becuase the bible doesn't come straight out and say it's wrong.


But the guys who think it's wrong make some pretty good points about where your mind goes, ya know....

So really I don't know what to tell you bro...


What does everyone else on here think?

I have to decide whether I'm ready to discuss this topic with you guys first. :|

:lol: hahah

i feel the same....

just gives me the hibbee jibbies.. :blink:

I stayed out of all the these types of threads before...

but I guess i feel obligated to respond now....



how about if we made a simple yes or no poll, with out responses?

However, I will say THIS.

I'm undecided as to the Biblical ramifications of masturbation.

BUT... in a marital context, my wife says that she has no problem with it, or the thought of me doing it. Sometimes, I think she encourages it.

That being said, when should someone treat it as an actual problem? Is it if they think that there is Biblical reasoning against it? Or is it when they know that it's something that can hurt their spouse emotionally?

I think it's entirely different in the context of marriage. I think if the person feels that there is a biblical reason against it or that it can hurt their spouse, then it is a problem they should stop.


However I don't think it's fair for a women encourage masterbation for the wrong reasons. If she just doesn't want to have sex, and tells her husband just to masterbate instead, that will definitely cause some problems in the marriage. The bible is clear about our bodies belong to our spouses. I don't think taking care of yourself should be an option in marriage. I think all sex in marriage should be mutual.

This is a toughy - both sides of the issue have good points as to why they feel the way they do. I"m w/ Red - I'm not sure where I stand on the Biblical ramifications of it.

I would say it's a problem if:

1) IF it is taking away from your marriage or intimacy in your marriage?

2) If the spouse doesn't want you to do it.

yeah? but isn't it a problem if your spouse just doesn't want to be intimate with you?

When I said that my wife "encouraged" it, it wasn't meaning to say that she'd rather me love myself than her have sex with me.

It's more like... a joke. I dunno, but I'll try to explain it.

The secular culture here in Canada (maybe moreso in the U.S.) is that all guys will freely and happily talk about their masturbation habits without any feelings of shame or guilt. You know... locker room chat.

However, when my wife and I met, and she "jokingly" asked about it, I would deny it up and down. But only because I felt forced to... still being tied to Jamaican culture and perspectives. Back in Jamaica, if you admit to something like masturbating, you'll get stoned. Literally, as in having rocks thrown at you. You're treated almost as badly as a homosexual. They make songs about people who do that stuff, and it's not positive. My wife thinks it's silly, so that's the only reason why she encourages that I break myself out of that mindset.

hahaha okay, thats funny.....

I can completely see what your saying... Yeah... choking the chicken is definitely up for comedy relief in america.

Whether or not that is a Good Thing, I dunno... lol

Anyway we kinda strayed really off topic from S4E's problem.

S4E my advice is to just try to get closer to god. I think it's really way too complicated to try to figure out if masterbation by itself is a sin or not (in your unmarried case) if you feel it's wrong, just go with your feelings and treat it as wrong.

I understand the problem.

Here's where I see the biblical roots: Sex outside of marriage is adultery. Jesus said, "If you look lustfully at a woman, you have committed adultery in your heart." Masturbation *generally* includes fantasizing. If you are not married, any woman you fantasize about is not your wife. Therefore it is adultery.

But... and this is important...

What if you experience dreams and have to change the sheets every day? Masturbation will prevent that from happening. Is this a good excuse? Should you take steps (prayer, etc.) to ensure the dreams don't happen?

I agree with previous posters that any man who says he hasn't is probably lying, though most won't admit it.

How did I stop? I didn't. Though, time with my wife has reduced the frequency.

TMI? Well, it gets to the point. And, since there are no single people here with whom S4E can identify, it's up to us!

I really don't think you can stop wet dreams dude, if your not spanking the monkey, it's still gonna come out of the Barrell one way or the other.


this is going sound REALLY Wrong!! and Blashpames (sp?) but Don't you wonder how Jesus did it??? Did he masterbate or did he have wet dreams? We know he didn't sin, so if he masterbated then it's not a sin, if we knew he chose to have wet dreams, then we could more concretely call it a sin.

I just wish there was a more concrete answer you know

I don't know if He did or not. That's one of the questions I've pondered (along with, "Hey John! Pull my finger!") for most of my adult life.

He was God made flesh. He did suffer the temptations of the flesh. He went through puberty like you and me. He had to feel the same stuff we did. I can't answer that either way.

Well I used to do it quite a bit... Then I met my wife and she thought it was disrepectful of her if I did that while we were dating because I'd be looking at other women than her adn "cheating" on her.

For her I stopped while looking at porn and fantasizing about women other than her. I couldn't stop altogether at that point because we were not at the sex stage of the relationship yet, and I very much wanted to be.

It's still part of our marriage, however it is totally focused on my wife, or part of our list of marriage games.

For myself fellas, I'm working on moderation. I try not to do it more than 3 times in a week and I'm careful where my mind goes when I do the deed. I have tried to stop and done well at stopping it, but why I ask myself anymore. I don't get much action from my wife lately and well I'm remenessing on the good ol days from our newlywed days and find myself all worked up and then it happens.
Actually I am more concerned about how much coffee I drink. I had 3 cups today. It was a good day.

If you can do it without fantasizing about other women,more power to ya!
That couldn't be a sin. :unsure:
I know I can't do it without the imaginings.What's the point?
It's a dirty little deed that just needs mental pictures. :eyebrows:
Therefore it must be a sin. :doh:

oigo, does your wife know?

I think a sexual connection is too important to altogether leave out of your marriage.

I think she has to know. I don't hide it. She has walked in on me and instead of her joining in she'll just leave.
Our sex life goes way deeper, she's hurt emotionally and I feel like she rejects me on many levels. We have been to marrage counseling and our counsuler said that until she can get over her issues of not forgiving that we are waisting our money. We go and argue for an hour, that will be $125 please. I had sex with my wife less than 5 times this entire year. It's been 3 months now since I have seen any action. The longest I have went without for no reasons like being over seas or anything is 8 months. My birthday and anniversary were the 1st and 10th of this month and still nothing.
There are days when I think she is setting me up to fail. Whoa is me what shall I do.....I know I'll spank the monkey!
Sorry I had to put that in there to lighten the mood.
I gotta go
Later

We'll pray for you and the wife, oIgo.

Counseling can be expensive, and, like your counselor said, is not the cure. You have to participate. It's instruction in how to fix problems.

Thanks because I think that is the only thing that can help now.
All the prayer I can get is welcome at this point.

wow oI... I will pray for you,

Man, I don't know what to tell you, You have to do something though, bro... You can't live life like that. i don't know what to say, just try to talk to her, and don't give up, talk to her everyday, tell her you both need to change, and you are not giving up.

No, I'm not giving up. There are very good points to our relationship I choose to focus on. My wife has an awsome personality and shes very witty. Makes me laugh and reminds me how one we are, because we think alike. Someone can say something off and we'll just look at each other and bust up. We will be the only two in the room who gets it, but that's whats cool. I don't plan on leaving and I don't plan on giving up. The only choice I see is to wait for her to get God to help her on her emotional issues.
We do talk, and she is trying, and so I try too. The sucky part is that I'm not having sex. I wish it would be more often but hey. you know. I just pray that God will help me when I'm weak and help her to heal and hope that something good comes of it.
There are other factors....big problems that I don't feel appropriate to address in a forum. I probably have said too much already and you know. I hope someone reading this finds encouragment some how.
I am not giving up.
Just pray for me and my family. That would be a real good Christmas gift.
Love all you guys and thanks for the support.

That is awesome,

It is encouraging to see good men who are commited to their marriage.

Well we'll pray that your Husbandly duties pick up man.

In a day and age of our society where sex is the center of about everything - it's very hard as a married man to be without it. Most men would walk away from the marraige - I commend you for being a Man of God and staying with your commitment.
I will pray for you.

.
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Bookmarked this from somewhere...finally got around to reading it...

Pretty good stuff...


http://newyorkmetro.com/nymetro/news/trend...9437/index.html