Is it possible to have a wrong love lingo? I wouldn't have thought so, but it's gotten me to thinkin....

Sarah is notorious bout doin sumthin, so I'll try to give a short example of what I mean. Apperently my love lingo is acts of service.

All of my life, it's been a someone says do sumthin an you by golley do it er git stomped into a lil greasy puddle on the ground. Well I'm not much different then that, I won't tolerate it from my employees, I won't tolerate it out of my kids, but I apperently am forced to put up wit it out of my wife.

If I ask er to do sumthin, an she says she will an then doesn't do it. The oppurtinity for me is already passed. If I havta ask agin er git mad, er throw a fit, then it no longer matters if it ever gits done. It's over wit. Sarah likes to think that jes because IN THE END it got done, why on earth am I mad bout it?!?!

So could I be wrong in this? To me, if it wasn't done witout me throwin a fit bout it, it wasn't ever done out of love, it was done because I pitched a fit bout it. An then.. why did we waste all the energy in the first place? I should have jes done it mysef, er not have whatever done.

Mileage reports are one of those thins, Sarah told me for years she would git it done... an yes by the time the due date came along, they were done... but each year it was the same thin, each year, she'd havta screw everone else over in order to quickly git a years worth of mileage reports done, take the time away from everone an everthin else in order to do it. So last year, after our typical yearly arguement, I started very gentely remindin er that the mileage reports need to git done, ever so often I would casually brin it up, that we are runnin out of time, but what really sends me over the top, was that I have said many many times that if she wasn't goin to do it, that's fine, I'll do it, jes don't frickin tell me you are goin to do sumthin an then never deliever. That drives me crazy. Jes say you won't an I'll do it, because in the end, it doesn't matter who does it, so long as it does git done.

We are on an adjusted yearly mileage report, so what that means, is the report that's due this next month is for the drivin year 20005 an 2006. This is drivin year 06/07, so we have an entire year to actually git last years miles done. This is what's so insane to me. So fine, now she's quit an I'll havta pick up the slack an run wit it... some how...

But it has never made a difference to me, never will I would spose.... you cain't ever tell me one thin an do another, that will send me over the top, an right now, I'm sorry to say this, but I don't even like my wife after all this recent crap. There is no truth, no honor in someons word who says they will do sumthin an then doesn't. I cain't handle that sort of thin. An the end result does NOT make up the differnce to me. So is that a wrong love lingo? Should I jes ignore that fact that someone would say sumthin an then not do it? But after I throw a fit they do it? To me it's jes out of spite, er jes cause Louis is bitchin. Not because I asked it to be done. An that .... I'm sorry, I don't have words for it, I can not flat out handle that. The end result doesn't matter to me, it's everthin leadin up to that that makes a difference to me.

I ask, you do = love

I ask, you don't, I throw a fit, it gits done = no love, only spite.

Do you think maybe she HONESTLY just forgets???? :dunno:

I know that if Ty wants me to do something, or pick something up at the store for him or WHATEVER, I've got got GOT to write it down or else I'll never remember to do it.

Well, she's done some of that, writtin stuff down an the like... only.. she quit doin it.... so we got a to do list online, I haven't had access to it on my lappy for months now, an I hadn't bothered wit it on the bunk puter, but .... in my opinion it didn't do much good either... 5 months ago I wrote IVDR's on it, it's the mileage reports an they still aren't done.

I don't be grudge anyone for forgittin sumthin once in a while, what I have a real problem wit is, do X an then they do Y. An then I ask, what the heck happened to X? an I always git the same story... oh well I thought you wanted to do Y. :doh: :doh: :doh: Probly where all the headaches have come from lately.....

I don't mind folks tellin me, oh dern it all I furgot this er that, but it's jes not like that.... for example.... there is a tint of Kat's layin beside the wash room door... er it's layin there now, was hangin right by the door. An after complainin for months for sumthin to be cleaned up, I cleaned it up an took that tint an hung it there an asked Sarah to clean it up an put it away. That was... mmmm I'm guessin bout 4 months ago now? Last I heard, couple days ago, it was still there, only now it's layin on the ground destroyed. That's not sumthin you can furgit, it's right frickin there. Same goes wit a rug that was in the truck, through an accident Sarah had a whole guess of milk was spilt on it, so at a walmart before I left out this last time I gave it to er to take home an clean up. It's now been destroyed from the same type of thin.

Now listen! I'm not sayin Sarah's jes an all bad person er wife er mother er anythin like that, it's not that in the first place, it's thins I have to say that aren't cared bout. From my persepective, it's Louis said it, so I must ignore it. So much happens this way, an then when I do throw a fit bout sumthin an it does git done, it's to late, it doesn't have the good effect it could have had, now it jes gits stuck in memory, jes another thin I asked that was refused to be done. Simple thins, simple stupid lil thins... for example, sumthin I asked er to do an she swore she'd do it, I noticed jes yeserday it still wasn't done, there's some miss marked files on my server at the house, I transfered em to my bunk before I left an found out that there STILL miss marked. It drives me nuts to find some stupid lil thin that I asked to be done jes to have it trashed.... now here's one to Sarah's credit I spose... it's the universes way of playin jokes on me. For like 7 years now... twice a year, 14 times... there is a race that comes on, Bristol TN, probly my most favorite track, most favorite race, an they run em twice a year. An for 7 years... I have missed that race ever frickin year... I git all the others, BUT the one that I want.... drives me nuts, I remind Sarah bout it ever year, but it always seems to git screwed up some how... I got a partial race I think last year... an this year Sarah swears she taped it... only...... no one can find it now.... it's stupid insignifacnt thins like that, jes a stupid lil race that I wouldn't remember who won anyways, but it really really hurts .... erm.. I donno if hurt is the right word... it's not some lovey dovey thin per-se... it's more of.. I donno... jes stands to figure is all. A thin I asked for... an cain't git... I can only imagine if this was like sex really. Ya know if like we only had one shot a year an git right up to the moment an then sumthin goes horribly wrong an I don't git it.... yeah I guess, I'm probly bein unreasonable... it is jes a stupid race after all.......