I don't get it... (Faith, Hope, and Love)

The current scrolling message got me to thinking...

What is the big deal about a man becoming a father? What makes Raspy "da man" ? Why is it a macho thing for a man to be biologically functioning?

Should this even be in Hitched?

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It's because Raspy's sperm ATTACKED that stink'in egg and KICKED BUTT.

nuff said.

Raspy's gonna be a new daddy! A first-time daddy!

When my hubby got me preggers, I thought he was "DA MAN", too. Sounds macho to me...altho I wasn't the one who changed the scroll. I'm guessing the Rat did.

QUOTE (Honey @ Jun 21 2007, 07:39 PM)

When my hubby got me preggers, I thought he was "DA MAN", too.

I still don't understand why... No offense is intended here men, but through no action of your own, except that of an orgasm, you suddenly become "da man" Why??

What I am about to say reflects my..."issues" with fertility and sex so please forgive me and help me to better understand this macho "da man" thing..

Is it because this particular orgasm is causing a woman's life to change forever? That your orgasm can make a woman physically ill and miserable for the next 9+ months? Because your "super orgasm" can make her have to feed, change, care for a helpless blob of a human and wipe its butt for the next five years?

Why does that make a man so honorable to be called "DA MAN"?? I freakin don't get it.....

Who said anything about orgasms? :unsure:

For me, it's the fact that his sperm found my egg while making love to each other and we (by the will of God) created the LIFE of a child together. THAT is what is so special about it all. It's not about orgasms. Sure, they're great and all...but that's not what made my hubby "da man". Not all women are physically ill during pregnancy, either. Not me, anyway...I felt more alive than ever. I also felt more like a WOMAN.

It's very disturbing to me that you see a baby...a GIFT FROM GOD as a "helpless blob of human". :brokenheart: You have no idea what it's like to wipe the butt of an 11 year old, do you?

I realize you have your issues and all and it's my prayer that one day you'll see a ray of hope and sunshine, but it doesn't mean you have to drag the rest of us down with you.

Raspy is still.................DA MAN.

QUOTE (Honey @ Jun 22 2007, 06:49 AM)

QUOTE

I realize you have your issues and all and it's my prayer that one day you'll see a ray of hope and sunshine, but it doesn't mean you have to drag the rest of us down with you.

I had a bunch of stuff written, but like you said, I souldn't drag the rest of you down wth me. I'm sorry...

I still disagree with calling any man "da man" because his body is working the way it is biologically meant to... :nono: Not to mention that the woman whose body has to do the work of growing the baby, etc., gets no mention in the male honoring system of childbearing..... :screwy:

so other than that I'll just back away and let you all be..

QUOTE (Stringaling @ Jun 22 2007, 06:12 AM)

QUOTE (Honey @ Jun 21 2007, 07:39 PM)

When my hubby got me preggers, I thought he was "DA MAN", too.

I still don't understand why... No offense is intended here men, but through no action of your own, except that of an orgasm, you suddenly become "da man" Why??

What I am about to say reflects my..."issues" with fertility and sex so please forgive me and help me to better understand this macho "da man" thing..

Is it because this particular orgasm is causing a woman's life to change forever? That your orgasm can make a woman physically ill and miserable for the next 9+ months? Because your "super orgasm" can make her have to feed, change, care for a helpless blob of a human and wipe its butt for the next five years?

Why does that make a man so honorable to be called "DA MAN"?? I freakin don't get it.....

String, I find this post disturbing for a number of reasons.

Firstly, it is making men out to be sadistic and selfish for making love to their wives and then enjoying the God-given privilege of sharing in the creation of a new life. It also makes sex about a man's selfishness. I'm sorry if it is that way for you, but if I were a guy reading that, I would find it offensive. (In fact I do find it offensive for men and women)

Also, it dishonours the role we have as mothers in the nuturing of our unborn babies. yes it is hard for some and even harder for others but we are sharing in life.
It also suggests the men are taking pleasure or pride in a wife's discomfort during pregnancy and beyond. Have you heard Raspy's concern for his wife? I have!!

And to call a baby 'a blob of a human'. I just don't know what to say to that. All babies are precious and made in the image of God. Cracked nipples, sleepless nights, poo that goes all the way up the back to the neck and the rest, are hard work and painful at times but 'what a privilege!'

I am really sorry for what must have happened in your heart and life for you to feel this way and pray for resolution of these things.

I understand that it is a natural biological function but it is also natural to take joy and pride in that. The scroll was about a man, 'cos Raspy is here and so the one we talk about him, but if Misty were here it'd be about her too. I felt so alive as a woman when I was pregnant. Did I do anything special? No, but I felt proud of the life in me. I assume it is the same for the guys. They know it is a biological thing but they feel pretty chuffed about it.

My heart aches for you String and I pray you can find peace in God about marriage, sex, motherhood and life.

Basically, men get called "Da Man" for doing something great, whether on the athletic field, in the office, or in life in general.

GR (if he is the one who changed the banner) is congratulating Raspy on doing something great (becoming a father). Nothing more, nothing less.

QUOTE (hope4today @ Jun 22 2007, 10:50 AM)

QUOTE (Stringaling @ Jun 22 2007, 06:12 AM)

QUOTE (Honey @ Jun 21 2007, 07:39 PM)

When my hubby got me preggers, I thought he was "DA MAN", too.

I still don't understand why... No offense is intended here men, but through no action of your own, except that of an orgasm, you suddenly become "da man" Why??

What I am about to say reflects my..."issues" with fertility and sex so please forgive me and help me to better understand this macho "da man" thing..

Is it because this particular orgasm is causing a woman's life to change forever? That your orgasm can make a woman physically ill and miserable for the next 9+ months? Because your "super orgasm" can make her have to feed, change, care for a helpless blob of a human and wipe its butt for the next five years?

Why does that make a man so honorable to be called "DA MAN"?? I freakin don't get it.....

String, I find this post disturbing for a number of reasons.

Firstly, it is making men out to be sadistic and selfish for making love to their wives and then enjoying the God-given privilege of sharing in the creation of a new life. It also makes sex about a man's selfishness. I'm sorry if it is that way for you, but if I were a guy reading that, I would find it offensive. (In fact I do find it offensive for men and women)

Also, it dishonours the role we have as mothers in the nuturing of our unborn babies. yes it is hard for some and even harder for others but we are sharing in life.
It also suggests the men are taking pleasure or pride in a wife's discomfort during pregnancy and beyond. Have you heard Raspy's concern for his wife? I have!!

And to call a baby 'a blob of a human'. I just don't know what to say to that. All babies are precious and made in the image of God. Cracked nipples, sleepless nights, poo that goes all the way up the back to the neck and the rest, are hard work and painful at times but 'what a privilege!'

I am really sorry for what must have happened in your heart and life for you to feel this way and pray for resolution of these things.

I understand that it is a natural biological function but it is also natural to take joy and pride in that. The scroll was about a man, 'cos Raspy is here and so the one we talk about him, but if Misty were here it'd be about her too. I felt so alive as a woman when I was pregnant. Did I do anything special? No, but I felt proud of the life in me. I assume it is the same for the guys. They know it is a biological thing but they feel pretty chuffed about it.

My heart aches for you String and I pray you can find peace in God about marriage, sex, motherhood and life.

:agree: Great post, Hope. :thumbsup:

I am sorry that I seem so horribly negative about this...I hated pregnancy...It was the worst time of my life ever. I felt bad, I wasn't myself, my marriage suffered even more, and I resented it because I didn't want it...

What I meant about the "blob" thing is this: An infant is entirely helpless. It cannot do anything on its own. you hve to turn it over, feed it bathe it, clean it. For a while it really just sits there depending on you--kind of blob like. Perhaps it was a bad description and I 'know' babues are a 'gift' from God, but when I had mine I certainly didn't feel that way...

And yes, I do have "issues" about sex. Since meeting and marrying my husband my attitudes and feelings about it have gone drastically down hill. Fornicating before I met him was much happier and more satisfying--I once had the best relatinship of my life, and I threw it away because of my stupid emotional "issues". Anyway,emotional issues from that aside, sex since its been "legal" has been emotionally more painful and damaging. Of course that is because of his "issues" too, but this thread isn't really about that...bad deal huh?

QUOTE

I understand that it is a natural biological function but it is also natural to take joy and pride in that.

This is what I totally don't understand..Why is biological functioning something to be proud of?

Although I resented each of my pregnancies, I am trying my hardest to be a decent mother. I hide my irritation as best I can from the kids and try to be as attentive as I can.. I feel like I fail miserably, but I am trying.

QUOTE (hope4today @ Jun 22 2007, 07:50 AM)

String, I find this post disturbing for a number of reasons.

Firstly, it is making men out to be sadistic and selfish for making love to their wives and then enjoying the God-given privilege of sharing in the creation of a new life. It also makes sex about a man's selfishness. I'm sorry if it is that way for you, but if I were a guy reading that, I would find it offensive. (In fact I do find it offensive for men and women)

Also, it dishonours the role we have as mothers in the nuturing of our unborn babies. yes it is hard for some and even harder for others but we are sharing in life.
It also suggests the men are taking pleasure or pride in a wife's discomfort during pregnancy and beyond. Have you heard Raspy's concern for his wife? I have!!

And to call a baby 'a blob of a human'. I just don't know what to say to that. All babies are precious and made in the image of God. Cracked nipples, sleepless nights, poo that goes all the way up the back to the neck and the rest, are hard work and painful at times but 'what a privilege!'

I am really sorry for what must have happened in your heart and life for you to feel this way and pray for resolution of these things.

I understand that it is a natural biological function but it is also natural to take joy and pride in that. The scroll was about a man, 'cos Raspy is here and so the one we talk about him, but if Misty were here it'd be about her too. I felt so alive as a woman when I was pregnant. Did I do anything special? No, but I felt proud of the life in me. I assume it is the same for the guys. They know it is a biological thing but they feel pretty chuffed about it.

My heart aches for you String and I pray you can find peace in God about marriage, sex, motherhood and life.

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Good thing I'm married, cause this post was just down-right HAWT....got me all steamed up. I was half-way to the International Airport to buy a "Down Under" ticket before I realized wifey has this same attitude.

(poo up the back....shear poetry...hehe)

BTW.....MISTY is Da WOMAN ! ! ! Congrats Sis.

:happy: not sure how that post was "HAWT" but ummmm - thanks?? :dunno:

:rolf:

QUOTE (Stringaling @ Jun 22 2007, 08:09 AM)

This is what I totally don't understand..Why is biological functioning something to be proud of?

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String...ever run a 5K? or climb a big mountain? beat a Nintendo Game? delivered a baby? (oops)

These are all biological FEATS that SHOULD make a person feel great about themselves.

It's ok to be happy...it really is. There is NO glory in being whipped all the time.

You seem like a pretty sold out Christian.... You should have extreme JOY in your life simply because of the Almighty...His love for you and you Him.

Satan has really got you defeated and IMHO, it really mocks God's accomplishments in your life (husband, husband's job, KIDS, health,etc).

Does your church preach joy and happiness or just ritual & sacrifice along w/bloody knees?

Does your church have any support for women? Like a women's/mother's group? Retreats? etc. Get involved, get a life...have some stinkin' fun for crying out loud...

QUOTE (squatpuke @ Jun 22 2007, 09:58 AM)

QUOTE

Does your church preach joy and happiness or just ritual & sacrifice along w/bloody knees?

Nothing of the sort, dear.. I'm afraid you have a great misunderstanding of the Orthodox Church..

My problems and feelings are just that--MINE. These are my own personal demons and I do not doubt that the source of my negativity and bad thoughts in this area are demonic. I must struggle not to succumb to it but it is very difficult sometimes. I must apologise for everything I have said on this thread. I do feel better now, but when I first wrote the OP, I was really disgusted with the whole rpegnancy thing. I do not have positive feelings about it now, but at times i drop lower than low with my emotions and thoughts. Again, I believe this is a spiritual thing I must struggle against and I believe I fail way too much..

QUOTE

Does your church have any support for women? Like a women's/mother's group? Retreats? etc. Get involved, get a life...have some stinkin' fun for crying out loud...

Actually we're thinking of changing parishes. The one we are at now is...well I shouldn't gossip...But there are prospects at another church in our area.. :)

Really I think I need a weekend alone, you know, pack up and go out to Walden Pond for a few days alone..But I can't see it happening..

Again, I feel really bad about being such a negative nancy about the whole pregnancy/sex thing. I have issues and none of you guys have and I should just let you be and be glad that you aren't suffering with the crap I am dealing with... I am sorry to air my burdens like this...

Forgive me?

QUOTE (Stringaling @ Jun 22 2007, 10:05 AM)

Really I think I need a weekend alone, you know, pack up and go out to Walden Pond for a few days alone..But I can't see it happening..

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make it happen...you can do it.

IMHO, all you need to do make sure the kids are provided for...if dad can't handle it, then get a friend or relative....then grab your fishing pole and swim suit.

And no...you don't need permission...you're entitled to make a decision on your own..you're a big girl.

DO it...if for no other reason than to keep your sanity and be a better wife and mom (and FHL poster) next week.

EDIT*** Give Base PLENTY of warning that you're doing it and when...don't drop a bomb with 10 minutes warning.

String, you can vent here any time, you know that! We may not all agree on everything, but we've got each other's backs and I hope that you don't feel like you have to censor anything you need to talk about.

And Squat, I think Clay might be jealous if he heard you were thisclose to buying a ticket to Aussie land............... :gotcha:

:wave:

Look out, Hope....the men are out to get you! :yikes:

QUOTE (andiesmama @ Jun 22 2007, 01:03 PM)

String, you can vent here any time, you know that! We may not all agree on everything, but we've got each other's backs and I hope that you don't feel like you have to censor anything you need to talk about.

That's right, we don't have to agree. We all post what we feel we want or need to. That freedom is also there in replies. That way, not only are we all free to say what we feel, but we can sharpen each other with truth and reflection from other believers. It works both ways. In that we can grow and learn.

String, I don't believe you were meant to live in the kind of pain these feelings bring and I sincerely pray God will bring you to a place of healing where you are able to enjoy the beauty of sex, marriage and family that is the image of the beautiful relationship of Jesus and the Church.

Chase God for that healing. You are worth it. You are his precious, treasured daughter and he wants you to be free. Continue to seek him and be open to what he may say or do. An analogy just popped into my head. If someone has an chronic illness that requires surgery, to get to the healing may it require suffering a lot of pain as the surgery is done and recovery is completed but the long life of health and wholeness is worth the suffering of the healing.

The pain of the surgery and meds in my life over the last few years has been excruciating but the healing I am now walking in is beautiful and for the first time, I have been able in the last few weeks, say "Father it was worth all the pain. Thank you for helping me trust you and bringing me through".
I really believe healing is there for you in these things String. Stand firm and as Squat said, you don't need pemission from anyone. Make sure the kids are cared for and start doing whatever you need to do to begin to heal. Not just once, keep doing it. Don't give up. The prize is worth the price.

Bless you heaps String :hug:

QUOTE

And Squat, I think Clay might be jealous if he heard you were thisclose to buying a ticket to Aussie land............... :gotcha:

QUOTE

Look out, Hope....the men are out to get you! :yikes:

That's the last time I talk about baby poop and stuff......:yikes:

:rolf:

**Disclaimer Some of my remarks may be taken out of context The following post was not written in any way shape and or form to be inflammatory or pissy I'm simply responding to comments / questions and do not mean this post to offend anybody... well maybe Squat because he ditched us there for a couple months... oh and Greenland... they just freak me out....**

QUOTE (Stringaling @ Jun 22 2007, 05:12 AM)

I still don't understand why... No offense is intended here men, but through no action of your own, except that of an orgasm, you suddenly become "da man" Why??

Beats me it was and contiunes to be a bipartisan effort, but since Misty isn't on the Boards someone decided to throw a thumbs up my way?

QUOTE (Stringaling @ Jun 22 2007, 05:12 AM)

What I am about to say reflects my..."issues" with fertility and sex so please forgive me and help me to better understand this macho "da man" thing..

I'll try...

QUOTE (Stringaling @ Jun 22 2007, 05:12 AM)

Is it because this particular orgasm is causing a woman's life to change forever? That your orgasm can make a woman physically ill and miserable for the next 9+ months? Because your "super orgasm" can make her have to feed, change, care for a helpless blob of a human and wipe its butt for the next five years?

Misty's life isn't the only one that changes. I get to watch the woman that I love more than anything go through a living hell for the next 9 (okay 6 and change at this point) months. Actually they narrowed the conception down to a specific weekend... They were pretty super on both sides of the fence....

Misty isn't the only one that is gonna have to care for the baby for the next several years. I'll have to bust my ass harder at work (picking up extra shifts if I can, and maybe a second and third gig) to support another mouth, when I'm home from trying to put food on the table I'll have an overexcited little monkey that want's to play with me, when i just want to sit down and catch my breath, and I'll still have to take part in the feeding wiping of ass changing, cleaning of messes, fixing boo boos, fixing "indestructible" items that he child figured out how to destruct.

If she can go out and earn as much or more than me I'll gladly Mr. Mom it. Misty's epilepsy eaves her down for the count a lot. So I'll have my fair share of baby duty (and doodie) to fare with. I've helped a lot with my neices, and nephews over the years. The only thing that's going to change with this one is I can't send it home at the end of the day.

It's not like I'm knocking her up then bolting, this is my wife, my partner, and our child.

QUOTE (Stringaling @ Jun 22 2007, 05:12 AM)

Why does that make a man so honorable to be called "DA MAN"?? I freakin don't get it.....

Beats me. MAybe it's becasue I'm stoked about having anther child. Someone possibly to cary on my family name, and my genetic code.

It's somethign I've been hoping for for a while and it's finally here. Maybe I'm Da Man because I plan on being a Dad, not just a father. Maybe because this child is more than blowing my load and dealing with the consequences.

I love kids, they're great fun, yeah they drive you batshit nuts every once in a while but they're worth it.

Maybe I'm Da Man because I have a healthy attitude of I love my wife, and this is going to take a lot of work on BOTH our parts.... there isn't a whole hell of a lot I can do until the birth except try and make it easier for her around the house... and if I can't find a decent gig I have to get a couple to support us... But I'll do everything I can in the time that I have becasue if I don't then I don't think I've earned the title "Man"

When I get home from work, I plan to take the kids and let Misty get an hour or two of relaxing done because she's been busting her ass all day keeping up with them. Maybe that earns me "Da Man"

Then again who knows? ... The Shadow knows... but he ain't telling....

QUOTE (Stringaling @ Jun 22 2007, 08:25 AM)

I still disagree with calling any man "da man" because his body is working the way it is biologically meant to... :nono: Not to mention that the woman whose body has to do the work of growing the baby, etc., gets no mention in the male honoring system of childbearing..... :screwy:

so other than that I'll just back away and let you all be..

Well Misty isn't really around here to get a congrats....

And my family has been congratualting both of us, and so have the peopel that know both of us, and those that know only me, are congratuating me, and I'm sure those that only know Misty areCongratulating her....

I don't think it's so much that biology works.... but that we've been wanting a child, just not trying for one, and we are being blessed with one.

I don't mean this to sound as bad as it's going to and I'm sorry I can't think of any other way to say this....

"You have some serious man issues going on don't you?"

Not every guy is an ass out to plant his seed and make women miserable. Not every guy is a white knight on a steed racing to save a damsel in distress.... Most of us fall somewhere in between....

QUOTE (Stringaling @ Jun 22 2007, 11:05 AM)

Again, I feel really bad about being such a negative nancy about the whole pregnancy/sex thing. I have issues and none of you guys have and I should just let you be and be glad that you aren't suffering with the crap I am dealing with... I am sorry to air my burdens like this...

Forgive me?

Of course...

We're family here.....

Even if we piss in each other's corn flakes once in a while?

If we can't forgive each other our little oddities why the hell are we together.

But if it happens again we're breaking out the Celine Dione records and the electric eels.......... :cheeky:

QUOTE (rasplundjr @ Jun 23 2007, 08:08 AM)

Misty's life isn't the only one that changes. I get to watch the woman that I love more than anything go through a living hell for the next 9 (okay 6 and change at this point) months. Actually they narrowed the conception down to a specific weekend... They were pretty super on both sides of the fence....

Misty isn't the only one that is gonna have to care for the baby for the next several years. I'll have to bust my ass harder at work (picking up extra shifts if I can, and maybe a second and third gig) to support another mouth, when I'm home from trying to put food on the table I'll have an overexcited little monkey that want's to play with me, when i just want to sit down and catch my breath, and I'll still have to take part in the feeding wiping of ass changing, cleaning of messes, fixing boo boos, fixing "indestructible" items that he child figured out how to destruct.

If she can go out and earn as much or more than me I'll gladly Mr. Mom it. Misty's epilepsy eaves her down for the count a lot. So I'll have my fair share of baby duty (and doodie) to fare with. I've helped a lot with my neices, and nephews over the years. The only thing that's going to change with this one is I can't send it home at the end of the day.

It's not like I'm knocking her up then bolting, this is my wife, my partner, and our child.

Beats me. MAybe it's becasue I'm stoked about having anther child. Someone possibly to cary on my family name, and my genetic code.

It's somethign I've been hoping for for a while and it's finally here. Maybe I'm Da Man because I plan on being a Dad, not just a father. Maybe because this child is more than blowing my load and dealing with the consequences.

I love kids, they're great fun, yeah they drive you batshit nuts every once in a while but they're worth it.

Maybe I'm Da Man because I have a healthy attitude of I love my wife, and this is going to take a lot of work on BOTH our parts.... there isn't a whole hell of a lot I can do until the birth except try and make it easier for her around the house... and if I can't find a decent gig I have to get a couple to support us... But I'll do everything I can in the time that I have becasue if I don't then I don't think I've earned the title "Man"

When I get home from work, I plan to take the kids and let Misty get an hour or two of relaxing done because she's been busting her ass all day keeping up with them. Maybe that earns me "Da Man"

Then again who knows? ... The Shadow knows... but he ain't telling....

Beautiful Raspy. Really touched my heart. And as for the rest of the posts, you are both honest, real and gracious.

Bless you two heaps. I can't wait to see the photos of you and your little treasure when the time comes.

You Da Man!!! :booyah:

QUOTE (rasplundjr @ Jun 23 2007, 09:31 AM)

We're family here.....

Even if we piss in each other's corn flakes once in a while?

:sick:

Okay, I'm REEEAALLLLY glad that I don't like cornflakes..... :P

Anyone dare piss on me....:lena: :ar15

Yeah, SOME things are just UNforgivable! :cheeky:

QUOTE (rasplundjr @ Jun 23 2007, 07:19 AM)

I don't mean this to sound as bad as it's going to and I'm sorry I can't think of any other way to say this....

"You have some serious man issues going on don't you?"

I see more and more that I apparently do... I don't intend to , its just the way things are..I never realized it before recently, but most the males I have been exposed to in my life have been...well, I'll just say they weren't the greatest role models. Bio-dad skipped out-never met him. Grandpa and uncles--alcoholics. Stepfather hated me and was a voyeuristic jerk--was peeked at plenty when I was just a kid...etc... So I apparently have been psychologically affected by all that..All this apparently has manifested itself in me in some pretyy negative ways.

I am sorry for pissing on your cornflakes........ :bonk:

I am happy for you..Its just one part of me gets irritated at praise in that whole "he da man" sort of way....

Eh I'm used to my cornflakes being pissed in... that's why I eat a bagel for breakfast :cool:

But if I could get an Admin to do me a favor.. if we're gonna keep this scroll for a while could we make an addendum because I couldn't be "Da Man" without "Da Woman" in my life...

Could we change it to Raspy is DA MAN, and Misty is DA WOMAN - Congrats SIS and BRO? or something along those lines....

I mean at this stage all I've done is infect my wife with a parasite for the next 9 (okay 6 and change) months.... She's got the hard part at this stage....

That'd be cheesey...

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