So I've been reading alot over yonder about masturbation in a marriage.

Is it wrong? Is it right? I don't need to know if YOU do it. :sick: I just wanna hear your opinions/debate.

What do you think about masturbation in a marriage?

I think it depends on the circumstances.

But I don't think that it has to be a bad thing ALL the time.

Sexual self gratification focuses only on the self...It is a selfish act. It takes away from the spouse because it is such a self centered act. For men, if they masturbate, their desirefor their wives tends to lesses because their desires are already quenched...Also it allows men to do it when and how and how quickly they want it without having to even put out any concern or effort toward another human being. Men learn impatience adn get itrritated at their women taking so lng(yet again-experience) because they train themselves toward instant pleasure, rather than selfless love....

As for women doing it...I don't have a clue......very likely similar results..

Also, since the beginning, it has ben condemned by Christians as a sin...

I once read that typos and spelling errors were symptoms of excessive masturbation.

:gotcha: :bonk:

By yourself? I don't think it's a good thing UNLESS there are excessive circumstances (like a spouse being gone away for long periods of time.... B) )

MUTUAL masturbation.....don't see a thing wrong with that.

:smack:

But what if a spouse does it while thinking of only the other spouse? Like some were saying that it's ok so long as you only think of your spouse and not lusting after someone else.

Oh, I've got no problems with that, either! :eyebrows:

The above would still apply, regardless of the thoughts going through his head at the time.

:rolf:

I have to disagree, String. Without release from tension, there are psinful side-effects. Not so much now that I'm older, but something's gotta give.

IF that is required for that release, why then, did God design the body to take care of those things on its own, as a nocturnal emmision??? God created a natural "release" for you. Taking it into your own hands and bringing yourself sexual pleasure still circles back to a selfish act, since it is not necessary---God made sure of that...

Um - that is a step to prevent the messiness of nocturnal emission. :ewww:

I know my husband's Urologist told him he needed "release" at least 4 times a week for best prostate health. They bothed looked at me, my husband smiling, and the doctor said "however you need to handle that. With your wife, or on your own."

My point is that God designed the makle body to take care of itself. Turning to the selfish act of "self love" is still an entirely selfish act...Selfishness is sin.. As I recall sexual activity away from your spouse is sin too...

God made it so that you would have a natural way to get that "release" if necessary, without turning to selfishness and sexual activity that doesn't include one's spouse....

As for the messiness...That's being human for you!! You ask these women on this board if there isn't an aspect of being an alive and healthy female that isn't a bit nasty....You just deal with the ick the best you can...Unless it is anywhere equal to the amount of menstrual blood that a woman passes every month, your case is weak..

Lame argument Clay..gonna have to come back with something better!! :gotcha:

An for optimal heart hellth eachone of up should get at least 30-45 minutes of cardio workout 5 days a week...

Many people throughout the course of human history have lived perfectly long and healthy lives without following the advice of doctors of the 20th adn 21st centuries...

Just because a medical doctor man says it, doesn't mean its is unselfish and sinless behavior...

In regards to nocturnal emissions versus masturbation, I had a discussion with a friend about this recently and his view was interesting. He said he went without masturbating for a long period of time but found that often nocturnal emissions came with dreams that he wasn't in control of and he didn't like the dreams. He found instead that if he masturbated he could control his thoughts and keep them in check. He said if the pressure had built masturbation brought release without the kind of dreams that came with waiting for a nocturnal emission.

(Just realised he's single and this is a hitched thread, but it still applies for marrieds when they are separated by distance).

String mentioned that masturbation has been considered a sin by christians for a long time, however the Bible is strangely silent on it, even though it is so vocal and definite about other sexual behaviour. Masturbation is so common, and I imagine always has been, that I would have thought if it were a sin, it would have been mentioned in the long list of sexual 'don'ts'. Mind you, I am aware that arguments on the basis of silence can also be dangerous so it is just something I think should be considered before being so certain it is sinful.

So if your husband has prostate problems and a "specimen" is required, how are you to get it? It's gonna take some wankin' yanno?

:rolf:

Well, all I can tell you is that my husband never had to take matters into his own hands in order to maintain prostate health.

Speaking of singles....this brings up another question. :shakeit:

Would you encourage a dating/engaged couple to masturbate (separately, of course) so that they won't give in to "temptation" with each other while dating/engaged? Or will that ruin the effects of the wedding night? :unsure:

I hear you about masturbation not only being common, but it appears to be very normal. Heck, I've caught my kids a time or two with their hands down their pants while watching cartoons. And NOT sexually explicit cartoons. We're talking DORA and along that line. So....yeah, how do you deal with that?

IMHO, with kids it's not about sex and impure thoughts, it's exploring their bodies and doing something that just feels good!

Andie does it occasionally, like when she's "zoning out" or something....I just tell her it's perfectly okay to do that, I know it feels good, but that's something to do when she's in the privacy of her own bedroom.

That's how we're handling it NOW.... B)

Covering my ears...lalalalalal...I didn't hear that....lalalala




read that...

The Bible was not canonized in its complete form that you now hold in your hands until the 4the century. The very same Church that sorted through the writings and chose which ones were truly "inspired by God" from the others and put them together as the Holy Scriptures that you hold dear, That Church led by the Holy Spirit to chose those books for our Bible was led also in other matters such as masturbation among many..

Would you put absolute trust in the Holy Spirit leading those early Christians in the putting together of the Bible but doubt the Holy Spirits influence in other areas of teaching??? The bible was never meant to be a how to manual for Christianity...


But that is another thread, another topic with 2000 years of history and documented and irrefutable evidence, and a super long paper trail...

So yes, Since the very beginning, the Christians, through the leading of the Holy Spirit have taught that masturbation is a sin....

I've now been pregnant for 15 of the last 21 months and not allowed to have sex since the new year. If my husband needs to take things into his own hands, I don't consider it a selfish act at this point. The poor guy's got my okay to do what he needs to do.

Awwww, man! I can't imagine going without. I hope after you have the baby you two can "get it together" real soon! :eyebrows:

Not to mention that WE get YOUR mess after sex!! How is THAT fair :nono:

Hey Where did the quote box go??

I agree the Bible is not a 'how to' manual, String, and also how it was canonised but that doesn't really relate to my argument here. The books that HAVE been canonised DO address this issue of sexual sin extensively, often in the form of lists, but mysteriously, to my knowledge, masturbation is NEVER among them. When conducting a list of sexual sins then surely one as common as masturbation would have been mentioned in one of these long lists if it were a concern to God.

And although I know you hold fast to tradition, I don't give it the same weight you do. God fearing men have been known to get things wrong for many centuries in a row and just because the early church believed something does not make it right. They were infallible too. I believe the Holy Spirit speaks to us today just as well as he spoke to the first believers.

So, for myself, I don't feel confident enough to proclaim anything a sin on behalf of God, when I don't see him do it.

However I do, like you, have concerns about how it could be selfish, how the marriage bed could be affected and what role fantasy may play in the act. I think these things should be seriously considered.

Hey, something occurred to me tonight regarding the "selfishness" of the act. A man who "takes care of business" before can last longer during. That will heighten the pleasure for her. Not selfish.

:popcorn:

:popcorn: :pepsi:

Great angle Clay, is there anything you guys can't twist in your favour? :wacko:

:smack: :haha:

:popcorn: :pepsi: :burp:

Right! The Bible is just good "suggested" reading and really has no usefulness for life today! :nono:

Wasn't there something in the Bible - which I understand...it's not a "manual" for life :( - about matters of the heart? Call me crazy but if a fella spanks while thinkin' about his wifey.....where is the sin? Touching himself?

Side note: When I first read the title of this thread I thought, "Great! Another Butt Sex Thread!!" - lol Then when I looked at who started the thread I thought, "Oh yeah, it's gonna be a butt sex thread!". he he he

This just makes me think of that scene in "Something About Mary"