I have to ask this question and I hope that it doesn't make you feel poorly about me or my wife but we're thinking...THINKING...about possibly starting our family while my wife is in her doctoral program so we got to thinking... with my job I have a lot of time off (school teacher) and she's got a fairly open schedule coming up (she can essentially plan when to be at school and when not to be) and we thought that we MIGHT think about trying to have a kid then. We know that at some times (a couple days a week for a few hours) our schedules will be such that she'll have to be in class and I'll have to be at work. On these days we'd have to do the daycare thing. I DO NOT want our kid raised in a daycare and will do all I can to have the kid as much as possible but I think it's going to have to be necessary if we start our family down here away from our families.

What age can you start taking a kid to daycare? What kinds of things do you look for? Will they let us only do a few hours a week or will they want at least a certain number of hours? Are they really expensive?

For the record I am a notorious "overthinker" so I'm already trying to see where diapers will fit in our budget if we decide to go through with this thing. Any advice? Any suggestions?

They will take the baby almost as soon as she pops it out...Seriously I think its like 4-6 weeks old.. Many do not have "hourly" rates. You have to reserve your space and pay full price to keep your spot open for your child even if you leave the child for a only couple of hours..Yeah...very expensive. Often taking the majority of the second income (not really worth it--In the long run its better and sometimes cheaper for one parent to stay at home full time) Call around and ask probing questions or even visit and talk to them...

Last Thursday I met my sister's friend, Jessica. The topic of daycare came up and she told me that one of the care takers in her daycare, when she was little, turned out to be a woman who had stabbed and killed her husband. She was out on some legal loophole or something.....So you have to take things like that inot consideration. Are you willing to let a wage earning person who is not even vested in the interest of your child--Just trying to earn a paycheck--be entirely responsible for your child--even if it is for just a couple hours a week??

I'd advise finding someone you know personally and are willing to trust your most valuable possessions. Pay them for babysitting. They will at least be able to give one on one attention to your child. At the daycare, sometimes the babies are rotated from bed to swing, to floor(if old enough) to rocker, etc..on a schedule, Not given the attention and love required of a human child...

I looked into daycare when my daughter was an infant..things may be different at the ones you check into, but I'd be very skeptical..

A wonderful lady in our church runs a day care. She is ALWAYS full!
I believe *most* take them at around 6 weeks... :wave:

I think that if it's only going to be for a few hours a week, it would be a good idea to hire somebody to come to your house to babysit or find somebody in your church that would watch the baby.

If you go the daycare route, String is right.....doesn't matter how infrequently your child is there, MOST daycares make you pay the full weekly amount.

Daycares in my neighborhood run $135 & up per week.....expensive!! :blink:

I totally hear the whole argument for a sah-somebody but I work, my wife is in school... there isn't really an option for us to have someone stay home. I like the "somebody at church" idea... I'm not sure how that will work. For the first 3 months the "plan" is that I'll be off for summer so I'll be Mr. Mom and my wife will be home too so... we'll have some time to figure it out...

I hafta giggle...You seem to think you can determine the exact month you will conceive and get preggers.. You can try, but things like that generally don't work the way [i]we[/] want it to.. Chances are you'll have a baby in November or some other "inconvenient" month, if God has anything to say about it. Silly Boy..

But then again, You have been in control in preventing it thus far, maybe your timing will work out..

So about when is this timeline for trying going to start????

I know that children are a blessing and that God will "bless" us when He desires but I'd feel foolish not to have some sort of plan set up. My wife will probably take a quarter off of school so it doesn't really matter when it happens- I'd prefer summer so I can be around but nevertheless... As far as the preventing it so far thing it comes mostly from us not knowing exactly how babies are made so we simply have been doing "it" wrong all this time. I was going to start a thread asking for a little class with some diagrams or pictures (YUCK!). My FIL is always on us about having kids and I keep telling him we don't have it figured out so he has to give us a class on it- it'd be worth it just to see him try and teach the class straightfaced!

As far as the "timeline" thing we've been doing reading the CCL book and charting for quite some time now and think we have it "scientifically" worked out but again we know that science and "most fertile" does not equal pregnant. As far as our family history is concerned infertility is the opposite of their problem- if either of our parents kiss they ended up pregnant...

Now when this is all going to start? I'm certain that my wife would tell me "NO COMMENT!" :P


BTW I'm not 37 like my profile says! I put in my birthday (1/9/78) and it puts me as 37... something is wrong with the math here! I'M ONLY 29!!! I'M NOT READY FOR BEING 30 YET!!!

We 'chose' what month we'd like to have BOTH our kiddo's and BAM - it worked for us. You just never know :booyah:
As for not ready to turn 30 yet...TELL ME ABOUT IT!

Why would you think that we would think less of you for this decision? I'm wounded. :string:

This was our daycare experience:
Our daughter was 8 weeks-old when we started taking her to daycare. At the time, I was the primary earner. My husband had changed careers a few years before and wasn't making that much. Believe me, it broke my heart. As a matter of fact, I had to be treated for post-partum depressing...but that's another story!

Our daycare was awesome! It was owned by a mom of 6. She just loved kids. It was a certified preschool as well, so kids weren't just left to play, they worked with them all day long. They also provided everything we needed - diapers, food, laundry! All I had to do was bring bottles and a couple changes of clothes. Sarah was in this daycare until she was 3 years old. That was five years ago. Our cost was $172 a week.

I found our daycare by visiting a few centers. Some I ruled out because they looked old. One I ruled out because when I walked in the door, I walked in to find a dozen or so children sleeping on mats - no one noticed I was there for at least 3 or 4 minutes. I could have easily grabbed a kid and walked out.

The decision is so personal. Talk to people you know who have kids in daycare. See if someone in your church has a Christian program. Visit-don't make appointments! Show up without notice to see what's going on. Make sure they check ID, that security is a real issue for them, something they think is important. Find out what they offer so you can compare services. We have a daycare down the road that the owner refers to as a sort of spa for children. She was bragging about giving the kids catered lunches. Well, I happen to know that it would be illegal for them to make or cook lunch for kids so of course they have to bring it in! Needless to say, I was unimpressed.

In today's society it seems that the "good families" seem to have one person at home and do without the extra income so they can be there to raise their kids. At all the Christian marriage conferences we go to they try and talk my wife into staying home with the kids. Now we're not chasing some $$$ by having two incomes- we only have one meager income but my wife is in school so she is busy as well. When she graduates and gets going on her practice I hope to slowly phase out of working full time and then, eventually, chase my doctorate (MFT, if you want to help kids you have to help families). Many of our friends would give us the "stink eye" because we stick our kids in daycare for a bit. Either we're foolish for having a kid now or we value our own goals more than our children.

In the small town churches we went to back home it was almost expected that my wife not work when we have kids. Her family is still hilarious about it- Her dad was talking in front of the whole family about how the kids were doing, "Dan is finishing up his medical school, top of his class and going to go specialize in orthopedics. Jim is graduating in the Spring with a honors degree in Chemistry and Jennifer is... well, she married a really great guy but no grandkids yet!" At the time my wife was working on a double major in History and Biological Sciences... top of her class in both degrees! Her biggest achievement was marrying me?! I think that's her biggest blunder sometimes!!! Sometimes I look at her and how beautiful and intelligent she is and I think "HA HA! GOTCHA!!!"

Yeah, I know what you mean. My husband married up too. B)

Seriously, I know how hard it can be when you don't meet your parents' expectations in this area. We get criticized, but in the other direction. My father always said I wasted my education and career to be a SAHM. And my mother will just never think my poor husband can do enough because he spends time with his kids!

You just have to know what you need and what's right for the two of you. We thought I would work until the kids went to school. We thought it was important that I be home after school, when most kids find trouble. Then I got fired when our oldest was just 3. While I was out of work, I got pregnant with Sean. So then we were looking at me putting two kids in day care for 12 hours a day, paying more than $300 a week. I would have been working just to earn money to get to work and keep the kids in daycare! It just wasn't feasable. So we cut back, and cut back, and God provided.

For this season of my life, I am truly blessed to be at home with my kids. Who knows what God's got in store for me in the next season! I'm just thankful that I'm here for His will.

:haha:

I practically pee'd my pants when I read that line... :rolf:

Man! I could go on & on about this issue....everytime I try to type something out.....I have to erase it because it just doesn't come out very nice.

I'll just say this to ya Seige. Don't listen to those "Your Wife Must Stay At Home" Nazi's - or the "you are less of a christian for using daycare" - zealots. They don't know you or your situation. I've faced them - I've confronted them - and it is hopeless. They are the only ones getting into heaven anyway - so why bother?

As for daycare - it has been awesome for us. My daughter prefers to go to her daycare provider instead of stay home. Why? Because she gets to play with other kids - she gets to learn so much. By the time she was old enough for pre-K- she already knew most of it. Are there horror stories? Yeah! The best advice I can give is - ask around - visit multiple places - ask a TON of questions - and make sure YOU are comfortable with the person.

good luck bro

Oh yeah - and I married up too! Thank God! :)

Ask him, he'll tell you it's true! B)

I can't wait to go to his high school reunion this fall. No one believes we're married. He was a stoner in high school and I was the preppie (undercover stoner on the weekends).