This weekend my pastor's kid (from WA) flew down and we've been hanging out with him. At 14 he's a little soft, a bit of a mama's boy. I try and toughen him up a bit, his dad has encouraged me in this saying he "spends a little too much time with his mom and sisters".

We planned a backpacking trip to go on when he came down. We drive three and a half hours, hike about two miles and set up camp. He had to bring his mp3 player and his PSP. When we get there he's immediately bored. We set a fire, I tell him to go pick out a stick so he can carve it up for roasting dogs and he refuses to do so b/c he's scared he might cut himself. The rest of the night is spent in much of the same fashion and the next day he says he's feeling "weird, I dunno" so we ask him if he wants to keep going or head back and he says "I'm about done with the woods. I like the hiking just not the camping around no one else thing." The "dad" inside me says "SUCK IT UP AND BE A MAN!" but we end up hiking back to the car and driving back home.

Since we've been home he's played the Wii almost nonstop. Well he does stop to surf the net, watch movies or watch t.v. Everything we talk about he attributes to a movie or some t.v. show. When I teach we teach the kids to make connections with books about things they've experienced in their own lives, he connects what we talk about with movies and t.v. because he spends so much time plugged into them that he has few "real life" experiences!

Is this how kids are nowadays? We're going to see a movie b/c I don't want him to have a bad time but I feel like he just came down here to watch t.v., watch movies and play video games in another city- he could have done all this from home! I'm throwing out my t.v. and computer when I have kids!!!

I'll let you know how the rest of the weekend goes!

Sounds like my nephews :hide:

My kiddo's WILL NOT and I repeat WILL NOT be like that!

We have no video games b/c well, we borrowed our friends system and realized we 'liked' it too much. We spent so much time playing (DH & I) that if we were to purchase one we wouldn't do anything else.

We aren't big on the elecctronics here at home. Kiddo's like to watch some TV and the rest of the time is playing outside. We are big into outside. So I think if they see that from us, they'll pick up on it too...hopefully. :thanks:

We try to limit the time spent watching TV and try to make sure Kat plays outside every day.

It's hard to change him... I only have him for the weekend. I think I'm going to shoot off an email or call his dad and talk to him about my concerns though. He's really soft and he carries it through in his Christianity too. While we were at the mall we were walking out to the car and a teenage girl and boy were in an argument. Out of habit I asked if the girl was okay (she was crying and all) and after we found she was we continued walking. He joked about what I was going to do as a good Christian guy if the other guy was hurting her, "throw on an "I'm a Christian" shirt while you pound on him?" I responded that many times prayer and a smile doesn't help people that sometimes God gives us two hands to take care of business. I wasn't going to fight but I will stand up for what's right. This kid has such a passive outlook (probably because he's too busy watching life happen instead of living it) he thinks the "Christian" thing to do is to do nothing! We don't need any more of these kinds of guys- we need guys who will protect our mothers, sisters, brothers and daughters in Christ! We need guys who can lead and take action (not just physically) for the Kingdom! I hope this isn't indicative of what life will be like in the future! If my daughter brings home a guy like this I'll smack him around to toughen him up!

No, not all teens are like this, but it sure seems like most of them are. It's like this generation of kids is being raised in guilt. Parents feel bad because they have to both work full-time so they provide the kid every technological wonder under the sun. The results? A lazy brat.

One of my nephews has turned into this kind of kid. My brother recently took away his game system, computer, all internet access, cell phone, and MP3 player. The kid was devistated. But his school work is miserable and my brother figures he's only got another two years to sort of bring this kid back. But if you go back in time, you would see them doing what they thought best by providing what they didn't have for their kids. Which is nice, I do that all the time. But we have to be careful too, and make sure these kids appreciate what they have instead of expecting these things be handed to them.

In our area school kids are required to do 20 hours of community service before graduation. It's not a lot. But it's something. Hopefully parents use their time serving as an opportunity to teach their kids about stewardship.

I agree with Lynn... Parent's spend all their time working and gifting their children with all the modern "toys" that they don't get around to parenting. "Pop them in front of the TV and go about your business." While the TV is a good babysitter adn distraction it too often takes over as teacher, educator, hobby, and passtime...

Our kids only get to watch Sesame Street. So they are limited in their television time much more than the average American child today. They only watch movies occasionally, adn most of their time is spent playing together adn using their imaginations.

As fotr both parents working to provide all the cool gizmos and bigger houses etc...We made a decision for me to stay home so that they will have at least one full time parent. It has cost us financially and our kids don't hjave as much as thje "Joneses", but we think that in the end they will be better of adn be better members of society for it. We give them chores and 8gasp8 punish them (!) for diobedience... Its hard to be consistnt, but unless you want your son to be like the one you spent the weekend with, you gotta do it and stick to your guns...

Kids like the one this weekend make me want to be a sahd! He was just so soft! I seriously couldn't believe how he referenced everything to movies and television. EVERYTHING! I really care about the kid but every night he'd call his mom... I feel like I should have told him to "suck it up" and stay out on the hike. It would have been rough at first but I think having achieved something difficult might have encouraged some self-confidence.

We also made that decision to do with out worldly things so that I could stay home full-time. I sincerely do not know how families work with both parents working full time. I give working moms a lot of credit. I worked full-time until Sarah was just 3, then got the blessing of my life - FIRED. And despite what we don't have, my kids have LOTS. We count our blessings everyday.

Hey, my 37-year old sister is one of these grown up teenage monsters. My mother always felt guilty for having to go back to work when we were in school. So she blamed all of my sister's short-comings on herself and has allowed my sister to live and home and walk all over her! My sister is going to be 38 this year, and has never lived on her own. My mom is 74. How soon before my sister gets the shock of her life...or my brothers and I have to evict her!

So heed my warning parents! Punish those kids when they need it! Reward them when warented. BUT, kick them out and let them live on their own before it's too late!!!

I have to admit this last weekend kind of cooled the jets on us wanting a kid... but then again I think this kid is a real reflection of his parents. They enjoy to watch the tube and it seems that it is what he enjoys too so I guess our kid probably won't be so much into the boob tube...

I wanted to add that kids nowadays see so many adults with the latest gadget, etc that it's 'popular' to have that. Kids have cell phones (my niece had one at the ripe old age of 11 :blink: ), Ipods, Xbox this and Xbox that, Cars have the DVD's in them etc. It's becoming part of our 'culture'. We opted out of the DVD player in the car when we purchased our car, I have no cell phone, No BlueTooth etc. I'm hoping that the longer we can last w/o all that stuff, the more the kiddo's will pick up on 'not needing' that stuff.
As for not wanting a kid any longer, EVERY SINGLE TIME I spent time w/ one of my nephews before us having kids I felt the same way. He could have and could still be marketed as child birth control! :belly: