When the lines of communication are broken, who in your marriage fixes them? Who re-opens those lines an begins workin whatever out? Is it always one person? Is it whoever thinks they are right er wrong? Do ya'll take turns? Er is it the same person in the relationship each an ever single time?

We take turns. If I've been wrong, after a bit of silent treatment, I'll go and apologize to hubby. (Doesn't last very long...) Ditto if he's been wrong.

If the lines of communication are broken within our marriage, usually my husband is the first to fix it. I'm way more stubborn. (plus, he's usually the cause of it - which I can say since he's not here to defend himself!!) He prefers to be quick to settle things and get it done. Me, I like to torture him a bit. And when I say that, I mean a couple of minutes/hours. I have plenty of friends who can go days without speaking to their spouse. I personally can't do that. Makes me nuts. I hate the tension.

When the lines of communication are broken in our marriage, we usually just go to our separate corners to wallow a little bit.....he gets on the computer, I go & read.

Then by the time we go to bed, we're chilled out enough to be able to talk about it.....

That's like us...although Im usually the one who "starts" the conversation. :wacko: :blink: :santa: :laundry:

Me too....altho Ty's getting better about it.....

When the lines are broken, it's up to whomever recognizes the problem to wait until there's been enough :chill: time. After that, then it can be patched.

I was jes curious, because in my life... in my ... relationships... I am always the one that has to "go crawlin back into someones good graces" doesn't matter if I was right er wrong, that's not even the point, the point is a restored relationship, but I have grown tired of it, I have been doin it for so many years, not jes in my marriage but my faimly an the like an I am done. I currently have one of my brothers address an number an the like, but I refuse to put forth the effort any longer, I have no wish, no desire to even try anymore. I am done on so many levels, I am jes done.

Some may call it pride, it might very well be, but I am jes tired, you know my info hasn't changed in like 10 years. Same email, same IM's say addresses... same phone numbers... well my cell is new, an it drives me absoultely nuts, that once agin, yet even still now, it's up to me to "fix" relationships. I am jes tired, I have had it an I am tired.

Sometimes they never do change. It seems to me like I'm always crawlin' back to my wife. Then one day she says she feels that way. :screwy:

So, it all boils down to perspective. You ever watch "Hoodwinked"? That's perspective. It's gotta be the wolf. Well, if it ain't the wolf, it's Granny. What about the woodsman? Ah - it's little Red.

The hardest thing I ever had to learn was how to divorce myself from the situation and analyze it objectively. Once I learned how to do that, I could figure out where the problem was and fix the problem before addressing the situation. Then I learned that both my wife and I were right:

I've got an anger issue, so most of the time it's me that's wrong. I just don't realize it. So she's trying to patch things up and point out, very civilly too, I might add, what the problem is. I just can't see it until I am in a position to analyze it objectively. Then I see the problem and approach her to fix it up.

Don't worry about fixing the blame. Fix the problem.

Usually me.. but there have been times when I was too pissed and kept pushing Misty off the lines she was trying to fix because I didnt' wnat them fixed at that time I was just willing to say screw it all...

I think lines of communication in marriage are much different than lines of communication with friends or family. In a marriage I believe we are supposed to both give 100% so I agrew with the person who said that it is up to whomever notices the problem but since men are called to be "like Christ and give himself up for her" then give yourself up (pride, what you "deserve") and fix teh problem. Be a man of action! Now when it comes to something with your brother or friend that you are the one constantly doing all of the leg work then I would have to say that you have to extend the branch but they don't necessarily have to pick it up. Do you desire a relationship with him? then I would encourage you to continue trying, but if you are not caring then I would encouragey ou to always be open and let him know your frustrations and then maybe make the obligitory call every Christmas and Birthday. With my guy friends we don't communicate much at all. I never call them and when we see each other again we are as excited as ever to see each other. It's like we never missed a beat.