We've arrived at a conclusion about the homeschooling. I've been unconsciously using an approach defined as "unschooling". It's lessons without 'lessons'. The great thing about it: she learns without realizing it; it's fun. The bad thing: it's not quantifiable. Also, she is not happy about the amount of housework being done.

So, last night, I'm in trouble 'cuz I don't have any 'proof' that I'm doing lessons. I made one mistake, and she's coming unglued one me 'cuz I'm not doing any lessons - as far as she knows. Our lovely daughter is still learning, though. She is seven years old, and multiplying up to 5 and adding fractions. She is struggling through writing, but she's learning it. She can tell time on a clock with no numbers. She can identify seven states on an un-labeled map. (If we lived in Canada, she'd have it licked!) She knows many more states by name and can identify them on a map. She knows the capitals of many states (Yeah, I know - useless info).

I'm also in trouble 'cuz there are lots of folded clothes that haven't been put away, the furniture hasn't been dusted (oh, puh-lease!) in about two weeks, and the bathroom counters haven't been wiped down in about two weeks. Well, quite frankly, between educating the girls and doing all the other housework, some of it has slipped through my fingers. There simply is not enough time in the day.

I tried to explain to her how the 'unschooling' works, but it was no good. As far as my 'boss' was concerned, I wasn't doing a durn thing. So, last night, while they watched Cars and laughed then played afterward, I ate my dinner in my study in front of my computer developing a series of tests to 'quantify' my daughter's learning. When I was done eating, I went to the kitchen and grabbed some ice cream for dessert. While in the kitchen, I cleaned up what was in there. I put away the food, I loaded the prep dishes and my dishes in the dishwasher. After I ate my ice cream, I put my bowl in the dishwasher.

After the movie, they played until 9:30. I was still working on the tests, as well as finding some neat stuff to print for 'lessons-games' like Math Bingo. I spent about an hour building a Math Bingo that can be used at Nichole's level and Kristen's level. At 9:30, they asked me to join them for prayers. DW got onto me 'cuz I didn't make sure the girls had picked up one friggin' thing in their room, and during prayers asked God to open my eyes so I could see the work that needs to be done.

By this time, I was thoroughly pissed off. I kissed my girls and went back to my study. About 11:30, after my wife had gone to bed (without telling me good night), I went to the kitchen for a snack. All their dishes were thrown in the sink! The counters had been dirtied from their dessert! They hadn't done a friggin' thing except watch a movie, eat and play. And after our discussion about me having too much work, they do this. I was so mad I couldn't sleep until after 2:30 am.

This morning, at 5:00, my alarm went off. I tried to blow it off and go back to sleep - let her make her own coffee and lunch, then she'll see how much I really do! But last night, I wrote her a long e-mail letter renewing my pledge to strive for the servant heart. So I got up, I brewed a pot of coffee, I made her lunch. When she came out, I was silent. I couldn't find the words. When I did, they were angry words, so I didn't say them. Finally, though, I told her in peaceful terms, exactly how I felt about the dishes. I also understand why wimmen cry, 'cuz I did. Man - I haven't felt so unappreciated in a very long time. Since my eyes were leaking, I left the room. She put the stuff in the dishwasher.

After I got myself under control, I apologized for losing it. She hugged me and told me that I was right. I'm not the only one who can do work around here, and she promised to start picking up some of her weight. I washed the dishes by hand that needed hand-washed as she left. There wasn't much.

In all honesty, it took less than 10 minutes to load the dishwasher and wash those by hand. Nearly every night - even when we were on vacation - that is my job. While they play or watch a movie after dinner, I clean the kitchen. But that had gone way too far.

Awww, Clay :hug: Bro, I know how you feel. But I'm so glad you guys talked this morning. Man, it's hard to do everthing. I always say "I am woman, hear me yawn!" Some stuff definately has to fall by the wayside at this point in your life. You guys just need to agree on what stuff is ok.

I always feel bad when Tommy gets home and washes the dishes that were left in the sink, because I feel like I failed at my job. But he doesn't. He just looks at it as him pitching in. No biggee. We've noticed that we've been making a lot of assumptions about how each of us feel about certain things. And often, those assumptions are pretty far off from the truth. We've been trying very hard to not fall into that trap anymore so we can avoid misunderstandings all together. And to say sorry quicker.

Let us know how those tests you made for the girls work out. It sounds like fun.

Clay - does this have anything to do with your previous post about your wife feeling like you have too many outside obligations? Maybe she is being oversensitive about things at home suffering because of your other commitments. It sounds like you are keeping things together at home... to your standards. Often, my DH's idea of how something should be done is different than mine and it becomes a conflict.

Props to you for having self control and not lashing out at your wife.

God bless.... btw, get some citrus smelling dishwashing soap next time you need it... it will help keep your spirits and energy up when washing up. :)