My wife told me she's 'sick' of me :( Not real sure how to take that. I mean we've been havin trouble... Liam... the truck.. life in general.... I'm sick of thins, fed up, had it wit alot of thins. But to know my wife also is sick of ... 'me' isn't what I had in mind to fix thins.

I can not imagine my life witout er, but at the same time, I am so tired of so much, so many silly lil thins. Messiness, cluter, silly thins. Liam.. fussin.. it's no ones fault he's a baby, that's what they do.. today he blew out two diapers an it bout sent me over the edge, why? He's a baby, an babies make messes but I still struggle wit the whole new baby thin. It's such a kanandrum in so many ways. Money is ... tight... in a very round bout way. I mean I make a ton of money, an so long as fuel an repairs stay at a minum it really isn't a concern, we have a lot of debt but so long as thins stay status quo then that debt is sure to git paid off, an it seems so fracked up. I make enuff money to support us.. but I feel such a strain such a drain... an you know what? I've been drinkin whiskey all night an furgot where I was goin wit that LOL, guess I'll drop whatever that was.

Really not sure what I'm goin to do wit a wife who is sick of me. Especially when she cain't tell me why. Only thin I got out of er today........... an this is still mind bogglin... there's no bones bout it. She screwed up our house insurance despite the numerous times I told er what would happen if she didn't do such an such. Well such an such has happened an now the ball is in my court, I have to make some calls to sort it out. An from what I gather, she's mad at me cause I'm mad at er, cause she didn't do what I asked er to do in the first place, that OR, she's mad at me cause I haven't made those calls. Ok, I admit I haven't, I've been home for a couple weeks an I have remembered to make those calls twice, both times I was drivin to the field to fix a tractor an had furgotten bout it by time I got back home. She isn't tellin me what it is she's sick of me, but I suspect greatly that it is a she's mad at me cause I'm mad at er cause she did sumthin I got mad at. An .... (as I believe the hip kids say these days) homie don't play dat.

I'm at a loss on this one....

My wife said the same thing to me several times about my temper. :ticked: and :urgh: and the like, she wanted to leave me.

There's so much about marriage that is not a two-way street. Once people stop looking at it as such, their lives will be so much better. Yeah, life would be better if everyone would give and take equally, but they don't.

So here's the scoop, A2J: Get over all the crap that's going wrong. (if that ain't the pot callin' the kettle black, I don't know what is!) Talk about it, but don't take it out on the family. That's really hard to do. Everything I hear from you is related to anger. Everything I hear from her is related to your anger. I'd bet my bottom dollar that the problem stems from anger.

Man, I know it's hard to do. And I know that being stuck in that truck doing a job you really hate isn't easy, either. I know you think you can't stop until it's paid off, but right now the family problems may be deeper than the finances. Maybe if you took the plunge and got out from under the truck so you could stay at home. Get Sarah to dispatch rather than your mom (sounds like there's trouble there, too). Or, do one of them "owner/operator" things with JB Hunt or Covenant. There are a lot of options, but - like me - you can't see them because your anger at life in general has blinded you.

OK - I'm off my soapbox. But that's my $.02. Take it or leave it.

Last night Tommy and I were talking about how disconnected we feel toward each other. It's a combination of outside influences and situations we're dealing with right now, and these things do happen. But it's never been like this when he was clean and sober. The thing is we both admit fault, and we pick it up from there. That's the most important thing. And we'll fix it, and we'll be fine again. That's what being married is all about, maintenance!

The most important thing is that whatever outside influences are seeping in, you both have a part in what's going on right now. You both need to admit your part in it, admit you're both wrong, and then be honest about what needs to be done to fix it.

I've said this to you guys before. Life is hard, but as long as you're operating within God's plan for you - His grace is sufficient. If it's not, then you're doing something wrong. If you have no peace, you're either not seeking it or doing something you're not supposed to be doing.

I love you both. And I'm praying over this situation for you two.

I don't have alot of time this morning, I'm just checking in....but I wanted to say just real quick that you both know you've got lots of love & prayer from your brothers and sisters on this board, and I'm joining in the prayers for both of you guys.

:hug: :pray:

I donno Clay, I don't think it's all bout anger, er my lack of temper control, even though I do agree that I have been havin a very hard time keepin my temper in check, I've been reactin badly to ever lil thin lately, punched a bed the other day over sumthin so silly. (keep that in mind, beds are easier on the body then concrete walls hehe) It seems my pressure cooker is right on the verge of explodin all the time these days. In the past I had worked it up so that I could take jes a whole bunch an might blow ever 6 months er sumthin, empty my pot an then I was good to go for months agin. Now it seems I only blow off enuff pressure to keep it right at the line.

I think it's a product of everthin else goin on though. Seems my capacity jes isn't enuff lately, an couple that togeather wit everthin else goin on I donno. I don't think it's all bout an anger issue really, but it is a product of everthin goin on.

btw, I am an owner/operator, the only difference is who I am leased to is all. Sarah cain't dispatch me witout us settin up our own authority to run cross the nation an that is a very expensive an hardly worth it ordeal. Not only that she'd flat out refuse to do it, she'd be so worried that sumthin would go wrong (which happens by nature wit ever load) that she'd take it personally when I exploded. I would say in that that women folk cain't discern between a feller jes blowin up at a situation an blowin up at em specfically. My maw does it, I itch bout a load er sumthin like that an she takes it as though I'm attackin er character er er professionalism etc.

Thins have the potential to change radically at the moment, jes not sure I wanna do it. It's like a couple weeks ago when I shelled out another 4 grand on the truck yet agin, an it'd be fine if it were monies in the account but they weren't, it was more credit card debt. Well my FIL has offered some money an I have considered askin em for enuff to be able to chunk the cards an then pay em back in a money market account. He wants to give it as a gift, I want nuthin to do wit that, so I thought bout settin up an account to pay into a momney market account that would draw it's own interest (not much mind you) for a couple years an pay em that money back wit whatever interest was there. It'd screw me a bit on taxes, but it might be a bit of a pressure relief to do that an then each month might not require me to work 29 of the 30 days type thin. Jes sumthin I havta play wit I guess.

Sarah can be such a booger eatin moron at time though. She says she's sick of me - ok fine, so what exactly is it she's sick of? What can I do to fix it, what is it that's the problem? An then I git nuthin from er. If I don't know what it is then what am I sposed to do? Sure I have an idea, she's ticked I started chewin tabacco agin, I don't blame er for bein ticked bout that, an yeah I could an should stop it agin, but in some respects..... ( I realize this will sound bad) I feel as though it's one more string to be pulled on me. I feel like I'm graspin at whatever I can to *control* er the like, sumthin that is independant of anythin else in the world, sumthin I can make the call on an do. Yet it has jes bittin me in the backside (which I knew would when she found out) But it feels to me to be jes one more thin on the plate, one more requirement of sumthin I havta git done, one more thin an I jes want all these "jes one more thins" to stop. I'm tired of so much, an when there's 'jes one more thin' on the plate that is already to full it sends me over the edge.

Haven't a clue what I should end up doin bout anythin, I git up I work I go to sleep....

Sounds like things are getting rough. We're praying for you and Sarah. You've been there for us and we'd like to be here for you, if'n ya need us. My 0.02 is that you should a cept the money from your FIL and simply take it as a gift. As I get older I realize that we're put here on earth to bless others and we need to learn to bless others and accept blessings from others. When you get teh opportunity to bless someone else- take it. Don't let your pride get in the way of accepting blessing from someone else. You've blessed many people and you want them to accept your gifts. So long as you aren't asking for a free ride from people then when someone who cares about you tries to help you out- take it. Be grateful and try and do for them too! I've had to humble myself many times in this life and I'm sure I'll have to do it many times more. I hope to have opportunities to bless others financially and otherwise in the future as well. That's just my opinion...

we talking "sick of you" period or "sick of"<insert behaviour here>

Praying for you guys.

What he said. I read somewhere that "Pride goes before a fall". My pride gets me in a lot of trouble now that we're in tough times. (Well, it got me in trouble before, too!)

My folks keep giving us stuff. Stuff like a TV and a food sealer and a musical keyboard and ... My pride doesn't want to accept the stuff. But I know we can really use the stuff. It really hurts me that I can't reciprocate. I can't buy my dad so much as a birthday card sometimes.

And remember something: You'll get your chance to pay your FIL back when (God forbid) your kids need the same favor. They'll pay back their kids. And so on and so on and so on...

A2J....I know I don't know you all that well....but from what I have read it seems like you have so much responsiblity on you that its getting to you. You sound like you feel stuck....with your back to the wall and any way you move your gonna get hit, only this aint dodge ball its life. I do the same thing as far as holding everything in until I can't put anymore in then I blow. You really can't do that....its not healthy for you or your family. I know easier said than done...and I am still working on it myself.
I know I don't have extreme words of wisdom to offer....but I am praying for you and your family......

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good post bamabro.

I apperciate it, thins are better at the moment, I've been "stuck" in town for a looonnng time now an it's given me some bondin time wit Liam an thins are a bit better along those lines, I took the lone from my FIL which really feels like I jumped outta the fryin pan an into the fire but we'll see how that goes... least he's 6000 miles away an cain't exactly jump the big river to come collect ever month ehhe

Yeah, swimmin' cross that border is a bit tougher than that river close to your house... :rolf: