This is a very good article about how God takes us through difficult times in marriage to help mold us into the people He intended us to be--whole, freed from the slavery and pain of death which attacks us in every part of our lives including our marriages.

"What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder. " And in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter [his last statement]. And he said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery."

There are some very important principles. Notice that Jesus lifts the whole matter far beyond the prevailing Jewish view of marriage. The Jewish view, as reflected in the law, was that the initiative was always with the husband. It was only the husband who could divorce his wife. But in our Lord's words here, they are on an equal basis. The man can commit adultery against the wife, and the woman can commit adultery against the husband.

And he indicates that adultery, sexual infidelity, destroys the work God has been doing by building oneness in a marriage. You see, the phrase, "What God has joined together" does not refer to a wedding service; it refers to what has been going on in the marriage. God has been blending two people---sometimes against their wishes, sometimes with great pain and trouble---but he has been putting their lives together. He has been doing it. That is why he has taken them through the trials and conflicts they have gone through. He has been using one against the other to break down their resistance and reveal the hard places in their hearts and to soften them and make them into the people he intended them to be. God has been at work in the marriage. Every couple, when they move into their first apartment or their first home, ought to put up a sign: "Caution: God at work!" Because that is what he is doing. He is building a oneness He is, if you like, creating an ecstasy. This is what marriage is all about---the creation of an ecstasy. It takes a long time, and it involves many steps, but he is producing something of beauty.

This is why marriage involves sex, and why sex is such an important part of it. Sex is the visible picture of what a marriage ought to be. This is why God reserves sex for marriage. What he is really saying by this (in the beautiful language of symbolism that God uses with us), is that every marriage ought to follow the natural course of the act of sexual union. It ought to begin with some uncertainty, some degree of separation and difference, proceed through a time of increasing relationship and enjoyment which mounts to a tremendous sense of climax and of oneness, and concludes at last in a period of restful response and contentment, and a sense of peace. This is what a marriage ought to be. This is what is pictured for us by every act of sex in marriage, in order that we might understand what God has in mind. He is building a miracle, he is making a union out of two, as a picture of what he wants to do for all of humanity. This is why adultery, sexual infidelity, breaks that work of God, brings it to an end."

Source: http://www.ldolphin.org/divorce.html

very very cool, Basil...thanks for posting this!

Heck, I'd say any trial perfects us. I look back on my walk over the last four years. When I told God to mold me into what He wants me to be, I had no idea what I was in for. He destroyed everything on which I leaned, in order to build me up into His image. It's still a hard trial. His work in me isn't complete (and I dare say it won't be until I join Him).

James tells us here that all our trials are God-borne - to grow us in our spiritual walk. And (here's the hard part) we should thank God for all the trials we endure! How the heck does one do that? I mean - thank God for ripping out all I ever leaned on? Thank God for forcing me to my knees? Thank God for bringing me closer to Him? Ah - there's the ticket.

So....basically....the trials in our life are from God? To mold us/build us into a better person?

Are some of the trials from Satan? How do you tell the difference? Or does it matter....no matter what, we should use ALL trials & tribulations to grow in our walk & to grow closer to God?

I don't think it matters. Depending on our responses, they either grow us or wear us down. It's our job to respond properly whether the trials are random acts of chaos (which I believe happen - the tower in Siloam, for example), deliberate acts of sabotage from Satan or enriching our walk with God.

Every good gift is from above--I don't think God creates any of the bad circumstances we go through, but instead uses them to perfect us. "All things work together for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose." He takes the crummy things that still happen because death still exists and uses them to refine us, bring us closer to Him. We have free will, but He orchestrates everything to the best advantage for us to be saved, if we have faith. His mercy is amazing. I've found Him reaching His hand out to me in the darkest place in myself and my life.

Basil

The thing is - do you know when you are experiencing a trial that it is a good gift or a bad thing?

I believe that God removed me from my job and wouldn't allow me to find another because I needed to make changes in my life. I would not have taken the steps to make the changes if I still had that extra income. I would not have come to rely on Him like I have over the last four years.

That was not a curse from Satan that God turned into good. It was, rather, a gift from God.

Well, that's the thing....I don't think we DO know, we just have to take every trial and use it to learn from it, deal with it the way we feel that God is leading us to...

If we truly understand God is omnipotent and satan is already defeating, being defeated, and will be completely bound someday, then we will see that nothing happens without God allowing it to happen. Every pain can be used for our benefit--but God is still not the source of any evil or painful circumstances. He is all good, all merciful, all loving.

Basil

Excellent article, Basil. It is great to see that you are looking for things to get encouraged by! I believe that sometimes our struggles are of our own making. When we think we are smarter than God and try and take over leading our own lives. It is only when we take the crap we have made and laid it at His feet does He take it and bring glory out of ashes. He does allow us to struggle but He has also promised that He would never put us through more than we can handle. Sometimes I think that something is too much, but I figure He who made me probably knows better than I what I can take!

good post....