With the plethora (now there's a big word) of seemingly insurmountable marriage problems we've been reading about in our little family, here's a piece of wisdom I learned in August from a marriage seminar. It's called the Servant Heart.

The Servant Heart is defined by giving 100% to your spouse in a marriage situation. While many think marriage should be a 50/50 arrangement, the Servant Heart views it as a 100%/100% arrangement. The theory is, if you give 100% to your spouse, eventually your spouse will return the 100%.

Now, I'm not an expert in this. In fact, I'm learning about it as I go. Unfortunately, this seminar was a compact 4-hour version of what should have been a 13-hour course. But, it was a free version, so I can't complain. But, here's what I understand - and if you Google servant heart marriage you'll come up with a ton of stuff related to it.

When my wife and I were first married, we were give-and-take people. "I'll give some, you give some. Meet me in the middle." But Christ was a servant. He didn't meet people halfway. He didn't say, "You drunks come here to the temple and I'll talk to you". He went to them. The Servant Heart in marriage is the same thing. Go to where your spouse is and meet them there. The idea is, don't trade something for something else. And don't expect to be praised for everything you do. (that's a hard one for me to swallow!)

I'll do us all a favor and research this more. I like the idea.

I'll leave this thought though: One particularly rough day earlier this month, I reviewed all the things that had gone wrong. She was wrong in some places, I was wrong in others. But I sat down and wrote this:

I am not doing quite as well as I'd hoped with this pledge, but that's why I used the word "strive" at the beginning. It's a hard way to go. But I have learned that if we both give 100%, we'll both be happy.

Thanks Clay. Just had a bit of an argument with my DH. I needed this.

Great words of wisdom.

Great job Bro'!

This really is a great teaching, that certainly is consistent with everything I've ever learned about marriage. Learning is one thing, implementing the advice takes work. Thanks, Clay.

Basil

It's like I say about my walk with God. All my life I'd been to church, learned the memory verses, understood what it was all about. But that was in my head. It wasn't until I ws 36 when it moved to my heart and I began to live the way I knew I needed to.

The same thing happens with my married life as well:
Wife: Clay, the house looks good, but there are still clothes that need put away from last week.
Me: Aw, come on. I've been working hard.
Wife: Please put the clothes away.
Me: (grumbling while doing the work) nobody appreciates the work I do. I'm just a slave here. If I was gone, this house would fall apart 'cuz there's nobody to do the work...

That's not the Servant Heart. That's why I made the pledge to my wife. She doesn't know the contents of most of what I say, but she does hear my grumbling.

Thanks Clay...well said and needed by me as well...

Did you guys go to Weekend to Remember from FamilyLife? They have the same thing at those and we love them!

Can't afford the weekend to remember. :(

But, we went to a "Marriage Matters" seminar with Jerry and Lynn Jones (no, not of Dallas Cowgirls fame). It was free! :)