So....here's the scenario: It's the weekend and the 2 of you are puttering around the house getting stuff done. You finish your work, but your spouse is still doing theirs...but nearly done with it. It's something that really can only be done by one person (ex: mowing the lawn OR cleaning the oven), so you can't help them get done any quicker.

You are honestly "done" with everything. Do you feel a twinge (or more) of guilt when you sit down with a cup of coffee or beer to relax & read the paper or watch tv?

Or do you feel like you should find something to do so you at least look busy, since your spouse is still working & isn't able to relax yet?


(ok ok....the TRUE scenario is me getting my stuff done and Ty's still working on mowing the yard.... :gotcha: )

We stand beside each other and provide moral support. It's kinda like when I get up at 5:00 am to make sure her coffee and lunch are ready, when in all honesty I could really use the sleep.

If she's finishing up mowing the lawn, I'll walk with her (or take care of the kids). If I'm working in the kitchen, she'll stand with me - unless I've goofed off all night and she wants to go to bed at 10:30 'cuz she has to get up at 4:30...

I don't think I would feel guilty, because usually I'm the one left working with things that he could help to finish. But he does what he wants to do, then goes and relaxes and doesn't feel a lick of guilt.... So if I were to finish everything...I would just be glad that i actually got to rest. I works every day at the house and he doesn't do jack at the house, soooo....no pity from me..

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grab a rake sister!

I WOULD LAY DOWN ON MY SOFT COUCH, PLOP MY FEET UP, GRAB A GOOD READ, AND ENJOY THE MOMENT! IT DOESN'T COME TOO OFTEN, SO I'LL TAKE IT WHEN I GET IT. :thanks:


IF I SEE HIM ON HIS BUTT NOT WORKING, I AM ASSUMING THAT HE DOESN'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING FUN ON THE WEEKEND. IT'S KIND OF LIKE A :quote: REWARD SYSTEM :quote: FOR ADULTS I GUESS.

WE HAVE DESIGNATED CHORES/RESPONSIBILITIES IN OUR HOUSE. IT SEEMS TO WORK OUT GOOD CUZ WE KNOW EXACTLY WHAT'S EXPECTED OF US.....ALTHOUGH, SOMETIMES WE GO ABOVE AND BEYOND IF WE ARE IN THE MOOD TO HELP EACHOTHER OUT. THAT'S RARE THOUGH.

IF I STEPPED IN AND ACTUALLY HELPED ANDY DO THE KITCHEN (HIS ROOM TO DO) INSTEAD OF JUST STANDING THERE TALKING TO HIM WHILE HE SCRUBS AWAY, HE WOULD PROBABLY JUST :faint: !!!!

Say you have designated chores adn one party doesnt' do his...um.. or hers? Then what do you do?

Same thing Basil does....

Let the lawn get tall??

Really, I don't like to feel like I should do "his" jobs because it is causeing ticks and mosquitoes and embarassing us to the neighbors...I have my hanbds full as it is..

:gotcha:

The lawn is one of HIS designated jobs....and Clay's a better guy than me because there's NO WAY I'm hanging outside in the broiling heat while he's finishing up the lawn....:faint:

I try not to feel guilty (HE never seems to have a twinge of guilt when he's sitting playing Ace Combat on PS2 while I clean up from dinner.... :box: )....as long as I KNOW that I've done all my stuff, then I can :quote: usually :quote: sit & relax without guilt....

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hehe....



Kind of how it works at our house; but I'd bet wifey would say she does more...

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sig worthy

I do most of the work around the house so I dont feel guilty when i do rest. And on the occasion that i do feel guilty i make the kids help her. lol

:rollseyes: :grin:

WELL, LET'S TAKE TODAY FOR EXAMPLE:

TODAY IS SATURDAY AND I AM ABLE TO GO TO THE POOL W/ THE KIDS BECAUSE I GOT ALL MY STUFF DONE AND FEEL LIKE I DESERVE A "FREE DAY" TO ENJOY. THE HUBS, ON THE OTHER HAND, CHOSE TO WASTE HIS EVENINGS WATCHING THINGS LIKE "THE CONTENDER" AND DIDN'T GET THE THREE SMALL THINGS DONE THAT HE WAS SUPPOSE TO DO....

1) HE MISSED TAKING THE GARBAGE OUT AND NOW HAS TO PUT A "DOUBLE LOAD" OUT NEXT WEEK. HE CHOSE TO SLEEP IN---UUURRRG.

2)HE CHOSE NOT TO FINISH PAINTING OUR BEDROOM DOOR ON MONDAY NIGHT WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL. IT COULD HAVE BEEN DONE IN A HALF HOUR PROBABLY, BUT HE CHOSE TO NOT COMPLETE IT.

3)HE CHOSE TO NOT MOW THE YARD ON FRIDAY NIGHT BECAUSE "HE WAS TIRED".

SO.......
NOW ME AND THE KIDS ARE GOING SWIMMING AND HE IS GOING TO STAY HOME AND COMPLETE HIS WORK. IT'S NOT A PUNISHMENT....BUT RATHER IT IS FULFILLING A COMMITTMENT THAT HE HAS MADE TO HIMSELF AND ME. WE SEE IT AS A REWARD.....AND WE RECOGNIZE OUR RESPONSIBILITY IN TEACHING OUR CHILDREN TO FOLLOW THROUGH WITH THEIR WORK/COMMITTMENTS. AM I MAD AT HIM? NO. HE IS AN ADULT, AND CHOSE TO DO THIS HIMSELF. AM I DISAPPOINTED? YES. I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE HIM JOIN US TO GO SWIMMING, BUT WE BOTH FEEL THAT WE NEED TO BE CONSISTANT IN SHOWING THE KIDS THAT WHEN OUR WORK ISN'T DONE, THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES THAT AREN'T ALWAYS GOOD. WE DON'T FIGHT ABOUT IT AT ALL......WE USE TO WHEN WE WERE FIRST MARRIED, BUT WE HAVE A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF OUR ROLES NOW. :thumbsup:

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ChitMaster is a good bro....

YES....HE IS A GOOD BRO.....AND I'M NOT SHARING HIM, SO BACK OFF SQUAT! :naughty: HE'S ALL MINE!! :cheeky: :smack:

Boy howdy talkin bout the o'l ball an chain on a roll.

Sounds to me... even though your "not mad at em" jes disappointed....... means ya guilted em into doin his "work"

Poor guy I sure nuff feel sorry for a "good bro" like that gittin his balls busted for not paintin the bedroom door er takin out the trash an the like.

An as for the dittzy blond up yonder, I think sqwat was right on the money, git your backside out there an grab a rake! An if nuthin else take the poor man sumthin to drink, at least make em "think" you actually care bout em out there workin his butt off while your sittin in the cool a/c :wine: an all.

Sarah's bad bad bout thins like this here. No sooner do I actually sit down after workin my butt off on sumthin er nother THEN she decides she wants to actually git up an start workin on sumthin... so then of course I feel obligated to git back up an find sumthin to work on, an there's no shortage of thins round my place to work on. Wonder why it only seems to work one way in my house....... hmmm I'm thinkin it's got sumthin to do wit bein whipped.............................

hey now....he's got a cup holder on his lawn tractor, and believe me I think a cold beer while he's mowing the lawn is a MUCH better help than I would ever be!! B)

OK...I HAD TO LAUGH WHEN I READ THIS. WE ARE THE SAME WAY!! :rolf:

EVERY STINKIN' NIGHT I'LL BE GOING TO BED (UPSTAIRS) AND FIGURE OUT AFTER I GET COMFY UNDER THE BLANKETS THAT I FORGOT MY DRINK. AS ANDY IS REACHING THE TOP OF THE STAIRS HE ROUNDS THE CORNER TO OUR ROOM AND HEARS ME SAY, "HONEY....I FORGOT TO GET MY GLASS OF WATER, COULD YOU PLEASE GO GET IT?" HE USE TO GET SOOOO MAD. NOW WE JUST LAUGH ABOUT IT. :haha:

Well, I'll tell ya....this week I've busted my arse right alongside of hubby! Now guess who's "housework" is way behind??? Mine. Tuesday he goes back to work and I have to try to get my house back in order of some sort.

Besides, sweatin' together....whoo! :shakeit:

:eyebrows:

i probalby wouldn't feel guilty, knowing we both were working to get done. now, my hubby says the yard, cars, etc is his :quote: area :quote: , and gets ticked when i want to do something. he takes it personnaly, thinking i dont' think he's doing it right or something. so, i let it go and feel no guilt when he's puttering around outside. it gets done when it gets done. and for the housework, he does ask if he can do anything but i know how he :quote: helps :quote: . i'd rather do it myself