Is it wrong for a wife to refuse to submit to a request that the husband has made when it might be potentially harmful to his health?

hmmmm.......I'm trying to think of examples...

Ty asks me to buy him a pack of cigarettes while I'm running errands....nope, I'm not enabling his unhealthy habit, but he can buy all he wants.

Ty asks me to go skydiving with him.....nope, I'm not gonna endanger MY life, but he's more than welcome to do it himself.

I guess if I thought it might endanger his health, I probably wouldn't do whatever it was BUT (if this applies to the situation) I'd let him do "whatever" himself after stating my concerns & reasons why I thought that way.

So (edit to say)....I don't think it's wrong for the wife to refuse, I think something that's harmful to one's health trumps the whole "submission" thing.

I agree.. If a woman is intellegent she will not do something that can be harmful, dangerous, stupid, or sinful just because her husband wants her to do it..

We have to be responsible and accountable to God, over our husbands, so I think that when our husband request that we do something stupid or harmful we have the obligation to say no and be the whole brain for the family until hubby gets his head on straight...

:thumbsup:

Yeah, that's a long scriptural quote, but it was all needed.

What's the deal here? Is hubby threatening something that is not healthy? After all, no one ever hated his own body... And husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.

Paul says the wife should be submissive to their husbands in everything. But (and most people stop before verse 25 in this passage), husbands are to love their wives and care for them. For a husband to do something to his own body that is not healthy, that is an indication that the husband does not love his wife. How can you love another if you cannot even love yourself?

So, is hubby being rational? If not, you are not to submit to him on this. If so, well, what's the question?

:thumbsup: Good Job ClayMan!!! i like what you had to say a lot!!! thanks for taking the time to look up that scripture, by the way.....isn't that what this dysfunctional family is all about??.....GREAT ADVICE! :thumbsup:

This is somewhat upsettin.....

Specifically, after an argument a few weeks ago I decided on my own accord to start chewin tabacco agin, what she is speficially talkin bout is yeserday she was goin to walmart an asked if I needed anythin, I said yes an wanted er to pick some more up, she of course refused an I jokinly stated that she was bein willfully disobeident an defiant.

She of course cain't stand it an I didn't start agin to piss er off I did it cause I wanted to.

Ya know you could have used a bit more tact here..... maybe used some specifics for crap sake so folks didn't think I wanted you to engage in some gay threesome wit a dog er sumthin!

Think I need to message Silent Enigma an see how he "handles" his defiant wife...........................................................

That's jsut wrong man!

She loves you and doesn't want to contribute to your self destructive behavior.

Like Deb said:

I know you don't need a preachin' to, but check out these pics. Are you sure dippin is worth this? Ther are alternative stress reducers ya know...

Wouldn't wanna kiss this!

I do think that if a husband asks his wife to help him in doing something that is damaging to his body, she should refuse if she loves him. Helping, in my opinion dioes include acquiring the harmful product, be it tobacco or a lard sandwich. As wives it is our responsibility to take care of our families and giving them dangerous things goes against our very nature. We love our husbands and we hate to see them hurting themselves and certainly don't want to be a part of it..

I didn't write specifics because as you know I'm having a hard time dealing with this and didn't want to acknowledge the fact that it's happening by writing it out. Silly I know... I also didn't want to say what it was because I didn't want people to jump on you about dipping because obviously people are going to tell you to stop.

It really caused an internal conflict in me yesterday because I had told you in the past I would never buy tobacco for you again but I did feel bad about refusing your request. I needed to know whether I was wrong or not because regardless of my feelings on the subject it's more important to me to be a godly wife and if that meant that buying you tobacco then I would do it.

If Abe were to ever pick up that nasty habit, then no...I would never, ever contribute to it. :nono:

So I reckon we'll jes leave it open so folks think I asked you to engage in gay anal animal sex er sumthin then, thanks alot.........

Well, sorry for trying to keep to the crux of the question instead of it being side tracked with having a bunch of posts telling you to quit dipping. I didn't want the discussion to be about whether what you're doing is right or wrong I wanted it to be about whether what I was doing was right or wrong.

So... I'm to understnad then what I am doin is wrong? Sinful even?

Working this truck is really costing a lot. Is it worth it? Is the absence from your family worth the money you send home? Is centering your every action on that debt worth the damage your marriage is inevitably taking? Is it worth not seeing your baby laugh? When you are old and laying on your death bed are you going to look back on your life and be glad that you kept that truck and spent so much time away from home?

I know you are going to say" but without it we can't get by" That is not true. if you rely on GOd to provide for your needs you will survive. Your family will not starve to death or live in the streets. I have five in my family and we are gettting by on less than 30, 000 per year. our debts are over 100,000. We are doing our best and things are coming together so that we can get it paid off. We made the SACRIFICE for me to stay home with the kids. It has cost us financially, but for the family it is best.

To sell the truck will be a loss, but is being home with your family worth that monetary loss or not? You hate your job. You hate being gone. To do what is best for the emotional well being of your wife and children and especially yourself you're gonna have to make a sacrifice. Yes, losing money is hard, and yes you will have to give up a lot, but you have to decide whether your family is worth it. Get rid of the truck! Put off getting your debt paid when you want... Be a full time daddy every day. Stay home! God will take care of you and your family. you must rely on HIm to do so.

Is being with your family worth going through financial hardship and struggle? Or is it more important to have a bit of cash and never see your kids grow?

You are going to have to make a major decision. I urge you to do what it takes and sacrifice whatever you have to, to be happy with your wife and kids..

I never got that impression... I really thought cigarettes or something...

Take a couple of these :chill:

Boy, when you foul things up you really do it well. Like I said, I wanted to know whether I was wrong for not getting you the tobacco. Whether I was failing in my role as a godly wife to submit to your request. If this was something that fell under submission. Like I said, if refusing to buy you the tobacco meant that I was refusing to fulfil my role as a godly wife then I would do it regardless of my personal feelings on the subject of you dipping.

String, I just want to say that my husband is sacrificing every second of every day. He's making so many sacrifices I don't know how much longer he can take it.

To go back ON TOPIC... :rollseyes: B)

Sarah, I deal with EXACTLY this...like in my example, Ty's cigarettes. I'll ask him if he needs anything at the store and if he asks me to buy him cigarettes, I will 9 out of 10 times tell him no. Yes, he'll get annoyed, but I don't want to contribute to a habit that will probably end up killing him years before his time.

VERY rarely I will agree to it.....like if I know he's been having a bad day, I'll do it just (let's be honest here) so I won't have to deal with MORE of a bad mood.... :rollseyes:

String, you seem to think *I'm* the one choosin to be in this truck, you seem to think that I'm the one interested in makin loads of money an decidin I don't want to be home wit my faimly. I am sacraficin right now... I'm sacraficin everthin I am so I can provide for a faimly who lately seems bent on hurtin instead of helpin, I know that stings Sarah an I don't mean it to, but from my point of view, because of all this, I now have no choice to git out of this truck, you know I cain't stick yet another driver in here an that means only I can drive this thin. What's more, even if I DID stick a driver in here, wit the extra debts now, we'd be worse off then before.

I sure wish, String, that you didn't take the stance that I am choosin to do this because I want to. Infact when I learned she was prgant, that's when the other shoe fell, it signed my sentnce to havta stay in this truck wit no hope of gittin out. It's not the money loss, I honestly don't care bout the money loss, what I do care bout is wether er not my faimly will have power an water each month. I gave you some of the specifics, an I'm sorry, yes I agree God has always (in the past) supplied our needs, I feel like He's left me to my own devices these days though.

I have even thought of jes lettin my folks take over the payments on this thin, but then I'm still faced wit the mountain of credit card debts that I had to use to pay for thins for this truck an even grocieries an electricity on some months. Ya know if I could actually sell this truck for somewhere near 65 er so then I'd jump at it, cause then it would at least place me back to where I was before I bought the thin an maybe I could jes go back to the way thins were. jes workin for someone else etc. The simple fact is, the truck is only worth 55 right now, an I couldn't hope to sell it for more then 35, unless I could find some really dumb sucker.

Everything we do in this life is because we choose to. Not because we want to, but we make the decision to do it. Selling it and having 15K debt is not too bad considering what you'd be gaining. You might even be less stressed and quit the dippin :D

I think I've crossed threads here..

Back to topic. I still think Sarah should not buy Hubby his nicotine drug..

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I say, let the good-bro have his dip.


But then again, who listens to me.... :cry:

oh please.... :rollseyes:

I say if he wants his dip, then go for it....just don't ask Sarah to enable his unhealthy habit....

:amen: :amen: :amen: :amen:

Well, last I checked these uh "dips" cost $$$$$. I used to work my parent's general store and they stank and were SO GROSS! :puke: Plus, they ruin your health and it leads to MORE health issues which could lead to MORE doctor's appointments and treatment therapies....yadda, yadda, yadda....what am I saying all this for? Y'all KNOW that! Why would you DELIBERATELY intake something knowing it is an addictive habit that can make you feel worse than better? I don't get it, I really don't. :(

i agree w/ you lena....but i don't think that's the focus here. i think we are suppose to be focusing on whether or not she should be buying it FOR him...the whole "submission" aspect of it. i think he's probably mature enough to know that it's not healthy for him. but neither is a twinkie and i still find myself eating them!! :wall: and every time i give in to unhealthy food, i feel miserable about myself in ways that i can't even describe! why do i keep doing it?? HABIT...i guess...dunno.

To answer your question:

I flat out don't give a rats rump bout much of anythin no more.

I certainly don't care bout my health an think its a waste of time to even think bout it.

I think Sarah blew this particular thin outta the water cause after all I was only jokin wit er an she knew I was only jokin bout that.

I think ya'll are all wrong anyways, she buys fritos for me... where's the difference? one may make your mouth rot off an kill you, the other clogs up your artieries an kills you.... I fail to see the distinction. In actuality, I think she is wrong to refuse my request, but I also choose not to pursue it as such, its hardly worth er feelin bad er guilty er sumthin like that.

btw.... has anyone invited the enigmas over here? er is it a not so good an idea type thin? Jes curious as to what ya'll folks think bout em.

:dunno: who are the enigmas?? never heard of them....sorry. :dunno:

Well, I said my part in that already so I guess I'm done here....

'Course we could invite them over. Just so long as Redguard puts his old signature back...

Lena....i hope you know i wasn't trying to offend you at all. :hug:

You hit the nail on the head. This thread was never supposed to be about whether dipping is gross or whether my hubby chooses to kill himself or not. It was just supposed to be about whether I was right or wrong to refuse his request. That's why I didn't mention tobacco in my original post because that wasn't the focus.

:thanks: i keep telling Andy that i DO have half a brain....maybe someday he'll believe me!! :D

Offended? NAAAAHH....you'll have to work harder than that to offend me! :D I just realized how dumb I sounded, too. :doh: Carry on! :whistle:

YOU CRACK ME UP GIRL!!! :rolf:

I think you should go buy him a nicotine patch and stick on his tongue!