We were married in a courthouse on July 12, 2000. On May 10, 2003, we were married in church. Our first marriage happened becasue I was pregnanct. My husband says that that date represents our shameful behavior and I think( he is not clear when he talks to me about these things) that he does not want to acknowledge that date. I know that he wants to scknowledge teh may 10 date as primary, because it was the sacramental marriage whereas teh other was more of a civil union type thing, he says.
I felt embarrassed by our church wedding becasue we already had two kids and a house and debt and all those things newly married people don't have. I was humiliated. To make things worse, although we only invited immediate family, he told them to dress casually, so my neice came to my wedding dressed as if she were going to the park for a family picnic or something. I felt like they didn't even care enough abotu us to dress nicely. I've seent them look sooo much better for much more minimal events.. So my "wedding"day wasn't exactly the best. There were 11 adult guests and three children plus my own two. After it was over I went home and they guys watched the wedding video and I fixed my sister's hair for her prom. Not a special day for us together by any means.
So should I remember any anniversary at all? Have I been married for six years or three? Is the courthouse marriage that came about because of pregnancy worth comemorating? Is the church marriage, which holds not so good memories for me, the one I should remember and celebrate? I always get depressed about those things when the dates roll around because I remember the bad things that the first one represents, the cruddy things that have happened between the two of us in this marriage and relationship and how this marriage isn't...it isn't the happiest and there are many resentments and stresses...And the second one was just a not-so-happy-memories day for me, so what should we do? celebrate these days or just forget them and let them pass?? At this time I'min favour of letting it just go by..
Sorry for being a Negative Nancy today..I'm just trying to figure this out...
awww....:hug:
Personally, I'd celebrate the one in July....I mean, that IS when you guys were "legally" married & all that....
I mean, what do you say when people ask you how long you've been married? Six years? or three?
I'd be curious to hear what other "wiser" people have to say about it, tho.... B)
I would celebrate the July anniversary. Louis and I were married at the JP's office and we were pregnant (we found out that day) and we don't feel any less married for it. It's still the day we said our vows together and meant them.
Why not pick a future date....have a big shin-dig and "renew" your vows....call that day your anniversary.