Well, we needed another topic here since the women have two in the Beauty Parlor...

So - let's talk about bodily noises. :fart:

I've been known to punctuate sentences with a fart. Usually they're the loud 'gun-report' kind, but once it was gooshy.

The most interesting was the other night when I was emphasizing a point with my hand and my knee popped really loud. It hurt. Then my wife hit me. She thought I farted! I was holding on to my knee, grimacing in pain, when she hit me. So, my knee hurt and my shoulder hurt.

She still doesn't believe me that my knee popped.

Are you kidding? Benefit of the doubt for the wifey.....you "MAY" have popped your knee but to us womenfolk more than likely you were just trying to cover up yet another fart....so she smacked you just to be on the safe side! :smack:

Why are you men so proud of 'em? Hubby thinks it's a significant accomplishment if he can fart so loud I can hear it in the other room.....and of course, Andie thinks it's hysterical!! :rollseyes:

Yeah - if you can get the kids to laugh,

SCORE!!!

BTW - like my new smilie? :fart:

acutally, I do like it!! :fart:

Perfect example....

:rollseyes: :kick:

My farting sessions are usually right after breakfast. What a way to start the day! :booyah:

TMI Lena, but thanks!! :rollseyes:

I really hate it when I'm trying to have a serious conversation with my husband, and he feels it appropriate to just let loose.
:lena:

When my hubby comes home from work, it never fails...he'll sit on the toilet while taking a dump and start talking about his day or ask what was in mail. :rollseyes: I often end up shutting the door on him. :lena:

MEN!

We had been having rain and thunderstorms for about four days and the weather finally cleared. My husband was sitting at the table-we have wooden chairs-and he let er rip and my son said "I hear thunder!' :rolf: :haha:

Whenever my son passes gas he says "oh, I just stepped on a duck." We don't know where he got that, I think he made it up himself.

Oh my gosh this is so pathetic! I'm actually laughing hysterically here over fart humor! :lol:

I know! it makes you wonder if the ancient people laughed like we do... Like Noah on the ark--there could have been a million instances for our type of humor in that crowded boat...

oh my gosh, that cracked me up!! :rolf:

Not trying to be blasphemous, but my wife's seriously posed the question:

I know He had a wonderful sense of humor - the gospels are full of it (take the log out of your eye - can't you just see someone with a log in their eye?)! So, to what level did His humor go? I mean - I wouldn't suggest He did anything like make cracks about Mary Magdalene, but there is physical humor that would be acceptable, right?

I don't know.....somehow it feels weird to imagine Jesus making fart jokes....but who knows? I can imagine His mom, rolling her eyes.... :nod:

Jesus had a physical body like our own...I bet he tooted in His day, too!

I wonder if we'll fart in heaven?

I doubt it..Heaven is supposed to be a wonderful place, foul sounds and odors just wouldn't fit in...

Who says Heavenly farts will be foul? All we'll be eating is manna...I bet if we DO fart in Heaven it'll smell like flowers....or honey....whatever manna is.... :unsure:

who said we'd be eating in heaven? I don't remembe that...?

Sure we'll eat! What about the tree that will bear 12 different fruits! They've gotta have SOME effect....and the Spring of Living Waters....if anything, it could be music to our ears and smells of flowers! :D

I think I am just super ignorant, but I have never heard of any of this... :unsure:

Revelations 22:1-2 -- 1Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb 2down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations.

That's just one example I could find quickly....I was sure I'd read something about there being manna in heaven, but I might be mistaken....

Oh man! :haha: Yesterday was hilarious. Candace and I went grocery shopping and we had our windows open and both chewing gum and you know how when you swallow too much air, it eventually turns to gas and you either let it out one end or the other. Ok, so we get to the store and I was SURE that nobody was around as we got out of the car and I was feeling a buildup in my chest so I just let out a huuuge belch....low and behold, the guy who I parked beside came just around the corner of his truck at that time. He was so short, I didn't even see him coming! I think I freaked him out a bit with my belch, tho! B) I just acted as if nothing happened and continued on....:haha:

PS: I don't normally do that in public. That was my first time! :lol:

:haha:

I am too shy to do either of those in front of anyone--even my husband..

Yesterday must have been a good burping day.

Sean and I went out to lunch with my mom yesterday. The restaurant is pretty small, and it was relatively quiet with maybe 6 occupied tables. We were getting ready to leave when Sean let out the HUGEST burp! He thought it was hysterical. Fortunately, so did everyone in the restaurant. Nana? Not so much! She was mortified! hee hee

I just saw Lena's post.

If YOU'RE calling him short -- what was he? About 3'3" (1m)?

When I was in college, I worked with my buddy Cary at a refinery. It stunk so bad at an oil refinery that nobody would ever know you farted.

Well, I was driving. I was getting out of my car, and I said "hi" to a very attractive young lady walking by. She just looked at me with pure disgust. I thought, "What's her problem?" Then I saw Cary. He was standing on one leg, had the other hoisted up and was pumping a fart with his arms. His face was twisted into a painful grimace as he squeezed the gas outta his butt. Kinda hard to describe, but try to visualize it.

I smacked him on the back of the head, and we went to work. No, I didn't get to speak to her.

Ok, well this makes alot of sense! :whistle:

:box:

I think I just got owned... me-> :fart: <-Lena

Oh, and while we're on the subject, I'm cookin' up a big ol' pot o' beans & rice tonight. A2J, you wanna come join us?

You guys do that....us ladies will be attending an Avon party that Lynn has just generously offered....we'll be stinking up the place a better way. :P

EEEEeeewww de parfum! :blink:

In Isaiah's words....EXCUSE YOURSELF!

In Nichole's words, "'Scuse yo-sef!" :rolf:

Isaiah seems to be more articulate with his words.... :nod:

Nichole's only seven. And been watchin' Donkey on Shrek too long! :rolf:

Yeah, well, Isaiah's also autistic and severely speech delayed....AND he's watched Shrek several times and still manages to say it properly!



:tease:

:bravo: to Isaiah. I'm proud of him. Truly, I am. No smart @$$ smileys here.

I'll find one...:eyebrows:

And thanks....but I was just teasin' yanno. :P

I know. But, I am proud of him, and had forgotten it before you mentioned that.

Heck, Nichole didn't say anything at all. I just plugged that one in. :wave: