I was gonna post this in Mommys & Daddys, but figured some of the guys might run away scared.... B)

When did you explain or START explaining your period to your daughters? What did you say?

We don't shut the bathroom doors around here, Andie strolls in whenever she wants and I know it's inevitable for her to walk in at some point when I'm changing out my tampon....it's nearly happened a couple times already, but I managed to dodge the bullet... :grin:

But I don't want her thinking it's something to be embarassed about, that's for sure...but I don't know how to explain it to her...."when you get bigger you bleed once a month".... :blink:

Just want to be prepared for when the inevitable questions start.... :thanks:

Good question. I don't think I've ever tried to explain it to Katheryn even though she's walked into the bathroom a couple times. Interested to see what others have said.

Andie's not asked questions yet, but I know they're coming!! :rollseyes:

Well, Luke has asked. He's noticed that there are some bloody tissues and he asks if mommy's hurt. (he notices AFTER mommy's gone potty...) So I've told him nope, mommy's not hurt, it's just something that comes from mommy's bum sometimes and it's normal. I keep it short and sweet. He's long forgotten about it already. Candace hasn't asked....yet. I'll just tell her that God made girls extra special and one day when she gets MUCH older, she'll experience the same thing and mommy will be there to talk her through it.

That's my story. B)

I like that, Lena.... :thumbsup:

Out of curiosity, how does this not shutting bathroom door system work in your home? Has your daughter ever walked on your husband? Do you ever plan on shutting the bathroom door in the future?

We've just never shut the doors so it's not a big deal as noone knows any differently.

Yep, that's us....Andie even occasionally takes a shower with Ty, it's no big deal right now.

Yeah, but what about in the future? Are you going to wait until you kids want privacy or are you going to start closing doors yourself? Are there people out there who never start closing doors?

(Sorry, this no door closing idea is new and fasinating to me)

You know, I don't hardly ever shut the door, either. Neither does hubby. Just this morning I was sitting on the can and hollering directions to the kids to get their butts moving for school.....

Maybe it's a having kids thing. When you have a baby that's your own you don't start out with the inhibitions you might think you might have just imagining leaving the bathroom door open.

I don't know that we'll ever make a consciuos decision to shut the bathroom door. My parents never did right up until I left home but it just wasn't a big deal.

Wow, this is so fascinating to me. I understand when the kids are little and such. You can't leave them alone, but after their older...I don't know.

I walked in on my dad once in highschool and was mortified. Who wants to know what their opposite sex parent looks like naked?

Maybe I'm weird or something.

[Totally derailed this thread. So sorry.]

Sometimes Andie will tell me she "needs to be private" when she's in the bathroom.... :rollseyes: ....but she still leaves the door open & I'm "allowed" to stand right outside...:lol:

As far as closing the door....I'll probably just take my cue from her...when SHE starts closing it on her own, then I'll respect her need for privacy. As long as it's just the 3 of us in the house, tho, I don't think I'll ever close the door when I'M in there....and knowing DH, I doubt he will, either...

As for when I was growing up, mom never closed the door when she was in the bathroom, dad would close their bedroom door (he only used the one in the master bath as much as I can remember). I think I started closing it for myself when I hit the puberty stage...

But if your parents had never been "hidden" would it have been a problem when you did walk in on him? We don't plan on flaunting our bodies but we also don't plan on hiding them away either.

Candace used to have fits when I did close the bathroom door while she went pee! :lol: So I just left it open and now that she's older she can close it when she wants to. Now, we do have ONE rule. If you're taking a crap...shut the door and light the candle!!! That's one thing that grosses me out. :lol:

Nope..Not a having kids thing. We always shut the door. I just think that it is the polite thing to do. I would be so embarrassed to take care of business in front of my husband. That is soooo gross, to me. The kids have walked in and they are learning that when people are pooping, its nice to leave them alone. It is probably just a habit and what you are comfortable doing and what you grew up doing..

As for the period questions... I have no idea..My daughter is five and I dread "the talk" Of course I am so put out withthe fact that it has to happen to us just because we are alive that I have a bit of bitterness built up about it... :urgh:

Back on topic, I don't have kids, but I'm anxious about how I'll talk about such things when I do have daughters. I want it to be a positive thing that they can look forward to rather than dreading it. In so many cultures, it's cause for celebration. I think it would swell if we could share it with our own daughters that way.

Yeah....I want it to just be a matter-of-fact thing, when Andie gets her period, keep her home from school, make it a mom & daughter day of lunch, manicures, stuff like that....

I had identical ideas like that, too. Maybe we could go watch a movie, go "woman" shopping or something....dunno yet.

YOu ladies make me wanna gag! Come on, people! Admit it. Bleeding from your business is disgusting and irritating in the least! Cramping and PMS cannot possibly be something to celebrate. Oh and by the way those cultures that celebrate it are also the ones that put hight priority on a woman's bearing as many children as possible. Her reproductive abilities are the most important thing she can posess..

Sorry you feel that way, String. But I do think it is worthy of celebration. I've never once been "disgusted" with my period! Sure, I get a little crampy, crabby and moody, but I also do my danged to say that "this too shall pass." :P
Plus, I'd never want my daughter to see it as such a dreadful, negative time, because it isn't. I don't find PMS to be disgusting in the least.

Hmmm. Well, we started closing the bathroom door when each child was aware of what they were looking at. Sean started taking showers with my DH recently, because he's been filthy every single day, but that's become a problem too. (pointing, poking, etc.) I prefer to shower and go to the bathroom in privacy because it's honestly the only time I'm ever alone anyway!

As far as the period talk is concerned...Not looking forward to it. But I'm sure it will be a gradual thing. Maybe when she notices the tampons in the closet. I hated that my mom congratulated mel. It felt forced. I felt like crap, and didn't understand why it was a good thing. I doubt I'll make a big deal out of it. And I definately won't allow my DH to say anything to embarass her like my dad did. ("Great, another B**** in the house).

Why? I seriously don't understand..

Well, like you said yourself, her reproductive abilities are the most important thing she can posess.. Why NOT celebrate it? To me it's worthy of celebration because I was a late bloomer and I actually got down and PRAYED for mine to come. I enjoyed reading the "girlie" books about puberty and everything, I was fascinated and awed that God could make us so complicated yet so beautiful! I went out and bought myself a new book as a part of my own little "celebration". My mom was relieved since they say that if nothing's happened by 16....then it's off to the doc's. I got mine just a couple months before hitting 16. I was so happy! In fact, I still look forward to mine every month and go into panic mode when it's late. :P I think it's a beautiful thing and a blessing...but that's just me. I look forward to the day that I can sit down with Candace and we can have our little girl talk. Mom did it with me and my sisters and she did an awesome job! I hope I can do as well as she did. :thumbsup:

:( Wow, you are bitter about it. That's too bad. It must be depressing to feel so negatively about something that is so much a part of your experience as a woman.

....I was going to say some positive stuff about menstuating and reproduction but I think that would just make you want to gag more.

See, I would be really sad if Andie felt as negatively as you do, String, about getting her period. She may not be jumping for joy, but I don't want her to be bitter about it, resent it, or be embarrassed about it. I just want her to accept it as a fact of being a woman, it's one of the things that makes us special.

Plus, what GUY do you know could handle bleeding a couple days every month.... :rollseyes:

It probably would. I have read these types of threads before and the women go on and on about the "beauty of womanhood" and it just seems so fake. I could swear that they are merely regurgitating the things that have been poured into their minds for years. I do have the menstrual process. I cannot possibly fathom how someone could enjoy it and like it. I mean mine last nearly 7 days and I hate it. That is just way too many days and I know all you people out there in internet land are like "Oh, I only go three dyas!" or "Four days is enoough for me" It makes me so frusterated that I can do nothig to shorted this thing.

Also I have had three pregnancies, all of which I cried upon discovering, so there is not really a positive thing there. Pregnancy is my worst fear. . A couple of months a go I was two days late and I was devistated. I cannot let that happen to me again..And being rather irregular makes for stressful times for me every cycle.

So the whole reproduction thing isn't a positive thing for me either.

Seriously though, what do you ladies see as positive about the whole mess? Literally.

a couple of days? Try a whole week and sometimes more.... think you could handle that? how would you feel about it?

Oh, and how does it make you special?

It used to be 7 days for me, cramping so much I'd throw up, heavy bleeding, etc....then I went on the pill which got rid of the cramping & heavy bleeding but it still lasted 5-6 days. Now my periods have decreased to about 3 days, very light & no cramping. I admit that when it was 7 days & a rough time it wasn't fun, but I was never bitter about it, it was just something that I knew was going to happen & I didn't look at it like it was a problem, I just considered it a part of being a woman.

I guess now that I'm older I know that it's just not something to be ashamed of, it's the way God made us. Sure, you can say it's the "CURSE" He gave to Eve and put the negative spin on it that way, but why? It's makes us "special" because when you first get your period, then you're a true woman, you've reached the point of being able to bring life forth into the world. Then again, I think pregnancy is a wonderful thing and I wasn't negative about my pregnancy, either.

It's just my personal feelings, but what's the point of putting a negative spin on the whole thing? It's something Andie's going to have to live with the majority of her life, I don't want her being negative about it or dreading it....even if she doesn't "embrace" it, I at the very LEAST would like for her to positively accept it as being part of a woman.

Holy cow String!! You're really angry!

I think regardless of our own experiences in matters like this, it's our job as parents to overcome our personally feelings and allow our daughters to form their own opinions.

Anyone see Carrie? Think about it!

Do you really want to know? Because if it's just going to sound 'fake' to you, why bother? This is such a negative thing to you on such a total level (and maybe for your whole life), I'm not sure there's anything I could say that wouldn't just sound ridiculous to you.

OK, get ready to hate me...mine is only 3 or 4 days. But it wasn't always like that. I used to have horrible bloating, headaches, and my period lasted a week. When I got the Depo shot I had it for 3 weeks. AND gained weight. Mine changed as I got older.

As I said before, my mom congratulated me and I thought that was weird because I felt like crap. Now that I'm a mom, I understand. I am blessed to be able to have children. I know you're not happy about that aspect either, but I pray one day you'll feel better about that too.

I guess if don't like being a mom and being pregnant, there isn't much reason to be happy about your period either. Are you "allowed" to be on the pill? That might help regulate you. Then there's that Seasonale pill that causes you to skip most of your periods. I think you get it 4 times a year. What about that?

Well, you may as well add me to your hate-list, too because mine ARE 3, 4 days max. To start with they were 5 or 6 days but having 3 babies of my own, it changed my body. Being bitter and angry at having a period every month is sad. And what's sadder is being very bitter and angry at having had 3 pregnancies! String, I have no clue where you're coming from, but you sound like you have a lot of anger and resentment deep inside.

What is out there that is WORTH celebrating to you? I would honestly like to know.

Actually, my best friend and I experienced this weird phenomenon where our periods were shorter and more tolerable (less cramps) when we finally accepted our bodies and made peace with our periods. Society teaches us to just plug ourselves up with a tampons and grit our teeth and keep going like nothings different. Now, we acknowledge something is different and take it easy, indulge ourselves a little more, take time to be quiet and just be. Both of us were really surprised how much a difference this made in the actually physical experience of menstruating - not mention the emotional side. I actually look forward to giving myself that little break each month.

Bummer, having kids didn't change me. Its always been long.. I have had no other choice than to accept this aspect of being female, but who said that I had to like and enjoy it?

I personally, do honestly believe that this is a result of the Fall. I mean I don't think Eve went around naked bleeding on everything..do you? Adam and Eve didn't have their kids until after and supposedly they didn;t even have sex while still in the Garden, so I believe this happened after the fall when everything went out of whack.

And Lynn. what do you mean "allowed"? I have free will and can do whatever I so desire, but I have researched birth control pills extensively in my plight to prevent pregnancy and they all work in three ways. Primarily they prevent ovulation, therefore no egg. Secondarily they change the hormaonal balance making it difficult for the sperm to enter teh uterus and tertiarily, making the uterus unable to hold a fertilized egg, that is making the endometrium "hostile" so that a fertilized egg cannot implant. Now if you believe that life begins at fertilization, then there is the problem of the BCPs causing this newly started yet not implanted life to be flushed out and die. The more liberal medical professionals will deny this but reading more about it you can find other sources that confirm this aspect of birth control pils. This is not restricted to the pill alone, but to all hormonal contraceptives. I conceived my first child on the pill so it was clear thatt I ovulated. Maybe I ovulated before the egg was fertilized, but died due to my intentional alteration of my body. For taht I may be held accountable by God. Knowing what I do now I cannot take the pill or any otehr hormonal contraceptive because I know that I might kill an unborn. That is why I chose not to take the pill. As for regulating.. I am wodering if it would be possible--back in a second--My son has taken on the persona of Mr. Poopy Pants and he's stining me out:sick:

Oaky the air is clear now! Iam wondering if it is possible to track ovulatory cycles while on the pil. Like with the sympto-thermal method and watching cervical signs and such. That way periods would be more regular, lighter, and shorter adn I could avoid even the possibility of conception...

I am sorry for sounding so horrid abnout this whole thing. I don't know why I fee like this. I don't know how to even discuss this with my daughter. I am terrified of that time...I don't want her to feel the way I do ..

Oh, maybe you meant allowed by the Church. Generaly The Orthodox perspective is against artificial birth control, but, unliike the RCs, mercy is shown and couple can use BC responsibly for certain reasons. As long as it is not for the selfish reason of "I just don't wanna!!" then reasons like extreme financial hardship, mental isues, time to get your home set up after initially getting married, etc.. are okay . You just have to discuss these thngs with your spiritual father(often your priest) and have his guidance ad stuff..

The preferred method of birth prevention are the natural means for the reasons I gave in my previous post.

I remember not being happy that I got my period. I was a tomboy and wasn't real happy at turning into a woman. I view it as such a blessing now though. No, periods aren't fun but I would bleed every day for the rest of my life if it meant that I could have my babies. To me a period once a month is a small price to pay for the blessings I've received through my kids.

I wish I could feel the way youand the others here do. I wouldn't wish my feelings toward this thing on anyone.

As for the blessings from our kids... I think I just don't feel like all you other mothers out there. I love my children, its just ....different. I do try my best to be a good mother, but it is hard. I hated every second of each pregnancy. i wished that it had never happened. I wasn't excited about the birth of my children, I just wanted the misery of the pregnancy to be over.

I think that all my negative feelings about the pregnancies, menstruation, and all that is related to my fertility, are tied in together. I jost don't know how to work it out and alter how I feel..