My wife just called me from work. Started of with some small talk and chit chat.

Then she says, "Carol wants to know if I'll switch shifts with her next Saturday. She wants to give me her closing shift. I told her I'd have to run it by my husband".

Normally, I'm pretty good at identifying when she's trying to play her little games with me. But I didn't bother to think to hard on this one. She's asked the question dozens of times before without consequence.

I looked at my calendar and tried to see if there was anything special about Feb. 4th... like if it was a birthday, anniversary, pre-arranged date night... Nothing came to mind.

So I said, "I guess it's alright. I don't see why not"

Then came the dreaded silence.

"Hello?", I asked.

Then she says, "So basically what you're saying is that you don't care whether or not I'm home with you Saturday night?!?"

" :doh: No... I didn't say that at all."

"So, why are you acting like you don't care? I can't believe you!"

"What?!? You asked me if it was okay. I'm assuming that you were impartial to the idea. As far as I can tell, we don't have anything planned on that day and it's not the first time you've worked on a Saturday night. You do it all the time... What makes this time so different?"

More silence.

So then I said, "You just asked so that you could catch me in one of your games. I don't appreciate that. I didn't do anything to deserve that. PLUS, I'm at work right now."

"I wasn't playing a game with you. I thought that you would care enough to say that you'd rather have me with you during Saturday evening than to have me at home during the morning."

:wall:

"It IS a game. If you really had an objection to working the evening shift next Saturday, then you wouldn't have posed the question to me. Clearly, you were only looking for one answer out of me. If that's the case, then you shouldn't be asking me the question."

Then she says her usual, "Whatever" and hangs up.

I'm so bent right now. I've told myself time and time again not to answer the phone at work when she calls because she never takes into consideration how her mind games will affect my mood at work.

I wish I could've seen this one coming. :cry:

I'm sorry that happened to you, it was totally unfair (IMO) of your wife to pose the question to you that way, when in reality there was only one answer that she'd be happy with.

If she must play games like that (which shouldn't be done on EITHER side, IMO), then she should wait until you're both home together to tell you, or at LEAST not call you at work with the drama....

Sorry.... :unsure:

Ouch! I hope I never do that to my husband. I think you have every right to be ticked at this. Sorry, don't have any ideas on how to fix the situation though.

Ouch! That's kinda nasty....

Yikes. Really sorry to hear that...
Good for you for not playing along.

When i first read this I typed out this long funny response about how you should call her and say all this stuff... i had the whole dialoge (sp?) down... and it was really funny.... but I hit the wrong button and lost it... =(

I've been an ear for a friend of mine who's no longer welcome at his house 'cuz his wife does stuff like this to him. He got tired of it and fought back. She kicked him out of the house. They're patching things up, but it's been rough since the end of September.

She'll ask him a question like that, get all bent out of shape 'cuz he doesn't answer exactly the way she wants him to, and tell him not to come back home.

It's a stupid game. He is so nervous about answering things wrong that he is afraid to talk to her anymore. He loves her dearly, but is having serious problems with this. Then, when he says it's not fair, she screams it's not fair that he doesn't know how to answer the questions.

It's so frustrating. It's like chess. I honestly find myself doing forecasted strategic plays in my head whenever I'm asked questions.

I consider all the answers I can provide, the gain/loss for each one, and the consequence involved. It's pathetic.

For all I know, she could've called me controlling if I told her not to switch the shift.

So True... So True...

Wife did that to me all the time Red. Finally I figured out that if I answer with a question, it acts as a buffer and gives me time to figure it out.

example:

wife: What do you want to do tonight?
Me: what do you feel like?

wife: Do you care if I work?
Me: Do you want to work? or What do you want?

It buys me only a couple of seconds, but if I use them right she can't get to me as fast.
duck and jive man, duck and jive.
It's a jungle in my marrage, Live Strong. :guns:

NEVER ASK A WOMEN WHAT SHE WANTS TO DO TONIGHT!!!!!!!!

That is like ASKING for a beating....

If she asks you want to do... say "DID YOU HAVE ANYTHING IN MIND?"

note to self......did have in mind......got it.
Thanks

Dern it all, I feel for you Red, I had a gal di that to me once, got tired of it I jes said enuff's enuff an we split, but that was jes a girl friend this is in another league, I agree, defuse the situation as best as possible. Folks aren't mind readers even though we'd like everone to be. Always fire back wit what folks have suggested, "What do you think, er how do you feel bout it" If nuthin else, plan sumthin right quick an say well what bout this er that. Sumthin that could be broken easy enuff if she truly wanted to work er sumthin ya know. There's no easy way out of that, an personally, hangin up on me isn't a way to git in my good graces, I normally flip out. But it is totally unfair for anyone, wether spouse er not to place you in a position like that, I've got a maw that'll do that from time to time. If they wanted a specific answer, for craps sake give it to me first so I can repaet the derned thin. But defuse defuse defuse as best as possible. Might try thins like, well I don't have anythin planned, do you?

Geez Red that sucks. :wall:

As for this.... 4JACKS the SEXIST....... :blink: :smack:

I agre w. oigo. Ask questions - never answer right away.

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SHEESH....women !

Can't live with 'em....can't shoot 'em.


Sorry good bro...

If'n ya can talk bout it, how'd thins go last night?

Yeah Red....you guys were in my prayers, I hope everything turned out ok...

Well she came home last night. I said hi and she just kinda ignored me and went to bed.

I was doing some work for a report I have due today, so I didn't get involved with the games.

I felt like staying up all night to avoid going to bed, but I knew I had to be alert today. I ended up going to be at like 1:30.

She seems to be okay now. I'm hoping this stuff blows over... it's so stupid. Valentine's Day is coming up and I don't want to end up spending money on chocolates and lingerie with an angry heart.

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Dude...I think she just needs some attention.

I put my hand on her butt in the middle of the night. I think that may have lightened her up a bit. :unsure:

You know how hubby wins my attention? This ALWAYS works....He shoves his ICE COLD hands up my shirt when he comes home! The attention HE gets may not always be positive attention, but it is attention.....

Red,

I wouldn't recommend taking Lena's Advice.....





























Ever.